Automatic Dog Washer

It’s here: a French laundry for your dog, reports the Britannica blog. The Dog ’’O’ Matic washes your pooch with water jets and shampoo, then fluffs Fido dry with warm air. It takes a half hour and from 25 to 35 euros (using big-dog-sized machines costs more).

These “cabin hydromassage whirpool bath” machines are meant for commercial installations, not home use. Dogwashing magnate Romain Jerry says dogs rarely become panicky, but can easily be removed at any point in the process if  dog owners do. Lysiane Ganousse of L’Est Républicain and her dog Tiff review the process here (in french).

Our graphic to the contrary, there is no spin cycle. The French treat dogs quite well; after all, pups dine at tables in many of their restaurants.

Looking for a retail business opportunity with “legs,” not to mention wagging tails? Check out the Dog ‘O’ Matic website. Here — fetch!

 

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Hairy News

Hairy news from the Windy City. Delta Laboratories in the Chicago suburbs is marketing Blago Volumizing Shampoo and Conditioner (“for really big hair!”), named in honor of disgraced former Governor Rod Blagojevich (“Blago” is his nickname). Mr. Blagojevich is known for his trademark coiffure, love of Elvis, salty vocabulary, impeachment and removal from office, and pending Federal corruption charges. “”He does have a nice head of hair,” said product creator Dennis Fath.

Bo Obama, First Dog

The Easter Puppy brought a gift for Sasha and Malia Obama this weekend: their eagerly anticipated dog. Who says the administration doesn’t follow through on campaign promises?

There has been media confusion due to nomenclature mix-ups and the quaint custom of  “news embargoes” among dead-tree reporters (the dog’s debut is slated for Tuesday). Worse, all adult news editors are on vacation this week, and the smarter interns (who now research and write all U.S. news) are on Spring Break.

The facts so far:

Name:  Bo, supplied by the Obama girls. The 6-month-old male pooch was formerly called “Charlie,”  and his AKC registered name is Amigo’s New Hope, but the dog won’t be confused. At this point the pup probably just answers to the electric can opener and the rattling of the doorknob and food bowl, anyway.

Title: Consensus has settled on “First Dog,” but we like “First Pooch” and the term coined by Kriston Capps of DCist, “First Hypoallergenic Friend.”

Breed: Portuguese Water Dog is the official AKC term.  This type of dog is also called Cão de Água Português (in Portuguese, natch), Portuguese Fishing Dog, Portuguese Water Spaniel, and “Portie.” 

Color:  Black with a white ruff, perfect for DC’s many formal occasions (white dinner jackets are now optional in summer).

Coiffure: Retriever Clip. The other option, the Lion Clip, is too silly for words (look at this). Curly coat; not wavy, Jheri-curled, processed, or relaxed.

What’s With the HAIR?

 

High crimes and misdemeanors. A governor arrested. An empty U.S. Senate seat. Extortion. Bribery. The troubled Trib. Baseball. Skulduggery, obscenity, conspiracy, wheeling, dealing.

Naturally, the first thing concerned citizens want to know about Rod Blagojevich is:  What’s with that hair?

Highest-Paid McCain Staffer

Amy Strozzi is the highest-paid McCain-Palin campaign staff member, earning $22,800 in the first two weeks of October.

Ms. Strozzi isn’t the McCain-Palin chief foreign policy adviser. That’s Randy Scheunemann, who got $12,500 in those two weeks. She isn’t the senior communications staff member; that’s Nicolle Wallace, who earned $12,000 in the same period.

Amy Strozzi is Sarah Palin’s make-up artist.

Republicans Play Dress-Up with Sarah

Jeanne Cummings of Politico reports that Sarah Palin’s signature wardrobe has apparently been purchased by the Republican National Committee. The bill for late August and September: $150,000.

The RNC’s September statement of expenses includes a $75,062.63 Palin shopping spree at Neiman Marcus and a $4,716.49 bill for hair and makeup.

So much for Mrs. Populist Hockey Mom.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com.

Plugging Joe Biden

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As The New Republic Plank says, “Brace yourself for the coming deluge of hair plug gags.” Let NotionsCapital be on the tonsorial cutting edge before the joke grows, um, thin.

McCainiacs: Order your Hair Plugs Wig (above) now, before they’re all gone.

 

Image: BuyCostumes.com