Archive for the ‘food’ Category

Turkey Torching Tips for Real Guys

November 23, 2015

Turkey Torching Tips for Real Guys
The National Fire Protection Association claims “turkey fryers that use oil, as currently designed, are not suitable for acceptably safe use by even a well-informed and careful consumer.” Wimps! Thursday is Thanksgiving, when we give thanks for college football and a four-day weekend. That’s when Real American Men generate Code Orange air quality by incinerating poultry on the patio. Yeah, buddy!

Any pantywaist can cook on those SUV-sized natural gas, propane, electric, or gelignite-powered barbecue grills with all those fancy features (good subwoofers can help spread sauce evenly, though). Nah, let’s get ready to deep-fry us some turkey. Here’s how:

1. Put Fire Department on Speed-Dial. Keep your cell phone in your welding apron pocket. It is unwise to enter a flaming residence to use the telephone.

2. Purchase more equipment. You can never have enough Real Guy outdoor cooking gear. Buy some new stuff at Home Depot first. Forget about those electronic gizmos from Leading Edge, you can never read their LCD screens outdoors anyway. Williams-Sonoma? Isn’t that the California wine the wife likes?

3. Don’t forget the turkey. It should be big enough to bother messing with. Double-check to make sure you are not buying a goat or lamb.

4. Check interior compartment of poultry (note: light does not go on automatically; use your Maglite). Any paper-wrapped parcels inside will not contain Surprise Creme Filling. Remove; give to wife or cat. If the bird is frozen, use your Benz-0-Matic torch judiciously or the meat will be dry. At this point you may marinate the turkey in any fluid mixture as long as it contains beer.

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Crying Wolf on Turkey Prices

November 22, 2015

Crying Wolf on Turkey Prices

On Thursday, November 26th, Americans will wolf down 49 million turkeys for Thanksgiving dinner. Since nearly 8 million of the big birds were destroyed this summer over fears of Avian Flu, turkey forecasts predicted prices would be up 15 to 20 percent. Supply and demand, right?

Not so fast:

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The Real Paleo Diet Was Full of Carbs

November 5, 2015

The Real Paleo Diet Was Full of Carbs

Devotees of the “Paleo Diet” (aka “Caveman Diet”) eat meat, seafood, eggs, and “non-starchy” fresh fruits and vegetables and eshew legumes, dairy products, and grains and other carbohydrates. That’s their idea of what humans ate in the Old Stone Age, before people learned how to farm and raise animals. They claim our prehistory shows the human body is ill-adapted to digest those new-fangled Neolithic farmed foods.

But that’s not the real menu of our ancestors, which included bugs, grubs, and all the starchy carbs they could get. And even though there were Stone Age food processors, they were used to make porridge, not “paleo smoothies.”

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UN Health Agency: Hot Dogs, Sausages and Bacon Are Carcinogenic

October 26, 2015

UN Health Agency: Hot Dogs, Sausages and Bacon Are Carcinogenic

The International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC), an agency of the UN’s World Health Organization (WHO), has determined that consumption of processed meat is as bad for you as smoking. Eating 50 grams (1.76 ounces) of sausages, bacon, and ham daily makes it 18% more likely that you’ll get colorectal cancer. 50 grams is about 2 strips of bacon.

Processed meats include  bacon, sausages, hot dogs, salami, corned beef, beef jerky, ham, canned meat, meat-based sauces, and other meat products that have extended shelf life due to smoking, curing, fermentation, or adding salt or other preservatives.

Further concerns for carnivores: IARC finds that even fresh red meat — beef, veal, pork*, lamb, mutton, horse, and goat — is “probably” carcinogenic, too. The risk of eating 50 grams of red meat daily is “mainly for colorectal cancer, but associations were also seen for pancreatic cancer and prostate cancer.” American men eat twice that much, according to the North American Meat Institute.

*Note: Despite the National Pork Board’s ad campaign, nutritionally pork is not a “white meat.”

More:

“World Health Organization: Red and processed meats have a strong link to cancer,” Akshat Rathi, Deena Shanker, Quartz

“Bacon Declared a Carcinogen, World Mourns,” Natalie Shoemaker, Big Think

“Bad Day For Bacon: Processed Meats Cause Cancer, WHO Says,” Allison Aubrey, NPR

“Hot dogs, bacon and other processed meats cause cancer, World Health Organization declares,” Peter Whoriskey, Washington Post

“The WHO’s new warnings about bacon and cancer, explained,” Julia Belluz, Vox

“Processed meats do cause cancer – WHO,” BBC News

“IARC Monographs evaluate consumption of red meat and processed meat,” IARC press release

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Top photo (vending cart sign, Washington DC) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Pizza Rat

September 28, 2015

Pizza Rat
Last week New York comedian Matt Little was at the First Avenue subway station waiting for the Canarsie Line when a fellow traveller walked down the stairs carrying a slice of pizza. Nothing unusual about that, except the diner was a rat. Mr. Little recorded a video on his phone, and it’s been watched 6 million times on YouTube:

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On the Radio: Bittman Dishes

September 26, 2015

On the Radio: Bittman Dishes
Earlier this month, Mark Bittman ended his New York Times op-ed column to join a Bay Area food startup. There is no truth to the rumor that former restaurateur John Boehner quit Congress to join Mark’s new venture since we just made that up.

Thursday, on WNYC Radio’s The Takeaway, Mr. Bittman explained that changes in the food scene prompted him to leave the newspaper:

“I was at this dinner a year ago and I was discussing a dish with somebody. She said, ‘What salt would you use with that?’ and I burst out into laughter, tears, or anger, But then I was re-telling that story recently and someone said, ‘I don’t know why you find that outrageous, of course it matters what salt you use.’ That’s the kind of change in the food scene we can do without.”

Mark Bittman has been coy about his new business venture, but during the radio interview he spoke about fast-casual dining and the food supply chain, and we know the startup is in the San Francisco area. One hypothesis: A high-tech build-out of the Alameda-Weehawken Burrito Tunnel. About time, too.

More:

“Mark Bittman: Why I’m Leaving The New York Times,’ The Takeaway

(Audio: http://www.thetakeaway.org/audio/m3u/533285/ )

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Short Link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-mcN

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Labor Day Weekend: REAL Men Grill Meat

September 5, 2015

Labor Day Weekend: REAL Men Grill Meat

This is Labor Day Weekend, ceremonial End of Summer in the USA. During this three-day holiday adult American men are obliged to offer up sacrifices to their gods, incinerating animal flesh outdoors behind their homes. Families and  neighbors consume the charred remains, washing them down with copious libations of fermented grain orcarbonated sugar-water.

This custom is said to bridge cultural differences and promote family and community cohesion, but the ceremony has a grave, unstated purpose. If American men do not burn meat for them on Labor Day, the angry gods will not end summer, preventing the start of the new pro football season.

More:

“Football: America’s national religion,” Chad Gibbs, Washington Post  blog.

“The Foodspin Cookout Reader,” Albert Burneko, Foodspin

“NFL Labor Day Cookout: Which Food Is Your Favorite Player Bringing?” Bailey Brautigan, Bleacher Report.

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Note: Canadian men sacrifice meat on “Labour Day,” which has something to do with their Ice Hockey cult. Or with “Curling,” maybe. Whatever that is.

Image (“BBQ Grill for Real Men”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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You Know You Need One: A Lock for Your Nutella Jar

September 2, 2015

You Know You Need One: A Lock for Your Nutella Jar

Most consumers believe that Nutella hazelnut-chocolate spread is sold in single-serving containers — as soon as they open the 35-ounce jar, they finish the whole thing. Thankfully most consumers can’t buy the 6-pound foodservice size. The gooey stuff is addictively tasty but it’s mostly sugar and palm oil, so it’s pretty unhealthy.

Help is on the way. Germany’s Daniel Schobloch has designed the Nutella Lock, an acrylic device that fits over the jar lid so it can only be opened with a key. He says it’s so your kids won’t eat all the Nutella, but we know better, don’t we?

Nearly 1000 of the gadgets have already been sold on German eBay at €9.99 ( $11) each. We expect to see a high-performance alloy version at Williams-Sonoma any day now.

More:

“A Nutella Lock For When You Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop,” Suzy Strutner, Huffington Post

“German Designer Builds a Lock for Your Nutella Jar,” Jennifer M Wood, Mental Floss

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Short Link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-m0f

Image (“Still Life with Pewter Jug and Nutella, after Cezanne”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Outer Space Salad!

August 11, 2015

Outer Space Salad!
Astronauts on the International Space Station grew and ate heads of red romaine lettuce. With extra virgin olive oil and Italian balsamic vinegar. Next stop: Entrées  Mars!

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Coming Soon to an Organic Market Near You

August 7, 2015

Bespoke Artisanal Water from Brooklyn’s Timmy Brothers (Mike Mergo and Jamie Effros), visually captured by Derek McKane, written and directed by Paul Riccio.

h/t: Eliza Barclay

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Short Link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-lOy

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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