Archive for the ‘Cheney’ Category

Dick Cheney: All Heart

November 20, 2013

Dick Cheney: All Heart

Was it just last year that Papa Dick Cheney blessed the same-sex marriage of younger daughter Mary? It was a touching moment, love overcoming Republican dogma.

Then ambitious older daughter Liz Cheney decided to base her carpetbagger Wyoming senate campaign on opposition to same-sex marriage. “I do believe in the traditional definition of marriage,” she told Fox News. Sister Mary noted that Liz is “on the wrong side of History” in denying equality to all families.

And Papa Dick Chaney, a man who bucked the 2000 GOP platform and endorsed marriage equality? A man whose grandchildren have two mommies? Certainly he stayed out of a fight between his daughters, since he loves them both equally, right?

Wrong. He’s backing Liz. Expect an uncomfortable Thanksgiving dinner at the Chaney house.

Wait a minute. Didn’t Dick Cheney mellow after he left office as Vice President and got a heart transplant? Nope. He’s flogging a book about that heart but won’t think about the donor: “It’s my new heart, not someone else’s old heart.”

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Cheney Says Leaking His Secret Spy Legacy is Treason

June 16, 2013

Cheney Says Leaking His Secret Spy Legacy is Treason

Former Vice President, millionaire government contractor,  Satan spawn, and G.W. Bush puppet master Dick Cheney is the father of  U.S. telecom data-mining and warrantless wiretapping. He defended his secret surveillance legacy on Fox New Sunday:

“Well, I understand people’s concern about it, but an intelligence program that does reveal sources and methods, which in fact is what you’re talking about, is significantly less effective because you’re not just revealing it to the American people, you’re revealing it to your targets, to your adversaries, to the enemy.”

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Mary Cheney Marries

June 23, 2012

Mary Cheney Marries

It was a June wedding for Mary Cheney and her longtime partner Heather Poe in Washington DC last Friday. The happy couple, who have two children, were congratulated by Ms. Cheney’s father, former vice president Dick Cheney.

Ms. Cheney, a conservative political consultant, and Ms. Poe, a former park ranger, met 20 years ago while playing ice hockey. The two live in Virginia but married in the District of Columbia, one of six U.S. jurisdictions where same-sex marriage is legal.

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Dick Cheney Gets a Heart

March 26, 2012

Dick Cheney Gets a Heart

Former U.S. Vice President and war criminal Dick Cheney had a cadaver’s heart put in his chest at Inova Fairfax Hospital last weekend. Think how many thousands would be alive today if he had had a heart while in office. We do not know if Mr. Cheney’s Medicare paid for the procedure but, unlike you, he was an oil industry robber baron and can probably pay cash.

Related:

“Vice President Dick Cheney Still Undead,” Rebecca Schoenkopf, Wonkette

“Classical Music Boosts Heart Transplant Survival in Mice,” Tom Jacobs, Miller-McCune

 Heart Gelatin Mold, Archie McPhee

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

Illegal Alien Caught in Anti-Terrorism Sweep

December 20, 2009

Not only can terrorists access real-time video feeds from U.S. reconnaissance drones, they can violate American airspace at will and invade our homes.

Thank goodness we have some hold-over Bush and Cheney appointees on our Amerikanische Heimat Sicherheit Abteilung anti-terrorism task force.

Hat tip: Ministry of Gossip.

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Cheney’s Secret Spy Program

July 12, 2009

Cheney's Secret Spy Program

The Central Intelligence Agency withheld information about a secret counterterrorism program from Congress for eight years on direct orders from former Vice President Dick Cheney, the agency’s director, Leon E. Panetta, has told the Senate and House intelligence committees, two people with direct knowledge of the matter said Saturday.

— “Cheney Is Linked to Concealment of C.I.A. Project,” Scott Shane, New York Times (more here)

Details of the CIA program remain secret; what has leaked is information about the former Vice President’s role in concealing the activities from Congressional intelligence oversight committees. This comes a day after inspector generals of five intelligence agencies reported that Mr. Cheney’s office restricted knowledge about a warrantless eavesdropping program of questionable legality, and the excessive restrictions diminished any usefulness the data might have had.

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Cheney on Wheels

January 20, 2009

Cheney on Wheels

Outgoing Vice President Dick Cheney coasted through the inauguration of Barack Obama and Joe Biden Tuesday. He was in a wheelchair.

Mr. Cheney pulled a back muscle after spending the weekend hunched over a document shredder in his office.

The former Vice President claims he hurt his back moving boxes out of  his old office, but Stanley I. Kutler of the University of Wisconsin Law School says: “[W]hen the Archives goes to open Cheney’s papers, they are going to find empty boxes.”  A federal judge allowed Mr. Cheney to determine which of his official papers should be preserved. Details here.

 

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.