Archive for the ‘Bristol Palin’ Category

Dancing With the Star-Crossed Bristol Palin

September 1, 2010

Dancing With the Star-Crossed Bristol Palin

Why did ABC ask Bristol Palin to appear on Dancing With The Stars?

Because Condoleezza Rice and Ann Coulter turned it down.

 

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Bristol Palin, Levi Johnston Engaged

July 18, 2010

Bristol Palin, Levi Johnston Engaged

Society Notes: The editors of US Magazine are pleased to announce the betrothal of Miss Bristol Sheeran Marie Palin and Mr. Levi Keith Johnston of Wasilla, Alaska.

Mr. Johnston is an unemployed dropout from Wasilla High School, where he played hockey while fathering Miss Palin’s son, Tripp Easton Mitchell Palin. His sister blogs and his mother was in pharmaceuticals.

Miss Palin is a noted authority on abstinence-only sex education. Her mother, Mrs. Sarah Palin, a former sportscaster, was Temp-Governor of Alaska for several months. Her father Todd, a retired BP employee, races snowmobiles and fishes for salmon.

The wedding is expected to take place just before the Fall television season. The bride will wear Carolina Herrera, the groom and Tripp will sport a camouflage pattern. The couple plans to honeymoon on reality TV.

 

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Bristol Baby Daddy Book?

July 5, 2009

Bristol Baby Daddy Book?

Mark Sanford isn’t the only one looking for a book deal these days.  The New York Post‘s authoritative “Page Six” reports that Levi Johston, father of Sarah Palin’s out-of-wedlock grandson Tripp, is shopping a tell-all book about his tempestuous relationship with Governor Palin’s daughter Bristol.  Mr. Johnston can also draw on some colorful family history of his own for literary inspiration.

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Bristol and Levi Break Up, She Gives Back Baby

March 12, 2009

Bristol and Levi Break Up, She Gives Back Baby

Okay, we’re not sure about that last part, but Bristol Palin and Levi  Johnston are breakng up. The story is on all the official GOP media outlets: Fox News, Star magazine, People, Us Magazine, Entertainment Weekly, Perez Hilton, The Hollywood Gossip, Celebrity Bride Guide, TMZ, The Insider, E! OnLine, and Access Hollywood.

A spokesman for  Ms. Palin’s mother, Governor Sarah Palin, declined comment; her father Todd is said to be in seclusion, cleaning firearms. Spurned Baby-Daddy and fiance Levi Johnston is just chillin.‘ Mr. Johnston’s mother, accused drug dealer Sherry Johnston, must also have an opinion, but she ain’t snitchin.’

There is no truth to the rumor that Bristol is giving her baby to Angelina Jolie. We know this because we just made that up. Reports that Octo-Mom is caring for the Palin-Johnston baby, Tripp, are likewise unfounded.

Our thoughts are with both families on this trying day. We hope the Palins can make some time to meet with their spiritual advisor,  Reverend Limbaugh.

 

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

Zero Tolerance for Clowns

February 26, 2009

Zero Tolerance for Clowns

Congressional Update: The Omnibus Federal Appropriations Bill continues funding for the absolutely-useless-beyond-belief Community Based Abstinence Education (CBAE) program.  The current version of the bill reduces CBAE funding from $122 million to $94 million.

But $1.5 billion has already been wasted on this malarkey over the past 12 years without discernible benefit. Enough is enough.

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