Danger, Bill Richardson!

Stardate 27 January 2009.An anomaly has appeared on the dashboard of Starship NotionsCapital. Hundreds of unknown entities are accessing an older blog post about New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, not the new, updated one, violating conventional laws of the Blogosphere. Holy Einstein! Have we drifted near some Black Hole or Space Warp?

 No!  Space Commander Bill Richardson just gave his “State of Outer Space Address,” boasting :

We even went boldly where no state has gone before—launching Spaceport America, signing Virgin Galactic as an anchor tenant, and starting a new commercial space industry in Southern New Mexico ….

Danger Will Robinson Danger, Bill Richardson! Do not enter into compacts with space aliens! The say they come to serve your citizens, but they will serve them on a bun, with slaw!

Bill “Blago” Richardson?

Bill Richardson’s career in President Obama’s cabinet was mighty short. It never happened.

The New Mexico Governor withdrew from consideration as Commerce Secretary after media noise about a Federal grand jury probe into at least one state contract. Since Mr. Richardson was on tap to handle Commerce in a crashing economy, questions about financial ethics would not do. While Team Obama’s vetting of Richardson left something to be desired, it is true that the ethical bar was raised recently thanks to the inimitable Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich.

Commerce will Blast Off With Richardson

UPDATE: Richardson launch aborted!

Governor Bill Richardson of New Mexico will be named Secretary of Commerce by President-elect Barack Obama today. The Governor will probably not bring his pinto pony here to Washington, despite nonstop whining by Malia and Sasha Obama.

The current economic crisis calls for bold initiatives, and Governor Richardson has plans to Go Where No Commerce Secretary Has Gone Before: Space, the Final Economic Frontier. The Governor has invested millions in the Spaceport America project in southern New Mexico. This effort may spur a new economic boom by initiating Space Commerce; it may also out-source your job to Alpha Centauri and bring new meaning to the term “illlegal alien.” Chances are it will just be another extravagant thrill ride for the very rich. The best the rest of us can hope for is getting our pictures taken while we sit on Bill’s pony.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com.

Space Alien Update!

Image: Interior of something. I forget. Either Virgin Galactic 2 or prototype Metrorail subway car (credit: Virgin Galactic).

Space entrepreneur and alien (British) Sir Richard Branson is a pioneer, using bleeding edge technology to harness the unfathomable, enormous power of consumer retail market forces to explore the very envelope flaps of the Theme Park Experience.

Scientists are dumbstruck. Here they are sitting in cubicles doing boring research stuff with puny beeping machines, tinfoil satellites, invisible waves, faint flickering lights and such, crunching and re-crunching data to figure out what it means, when they could have been giving joyrides to rich guys. The sound of headsmacks at NASA in Greenbelt is audible here on Capitol Hill.

Aliens Emerge from Giant UFO!

Cruising at 3,000 mph, the gargantuan spaceship zoomed out of the Texas sky, landed, and disgorged occupants who are clearly Not of This Earth.

Wait. That’s not Texas, that’s the Big Apple, Noo friggin’ Yawk. The creature on the left is definitely an alien, though: he’s British, that Branson guy. The humanoid with him is Burt Rutan, who designed the spaceship pictured behind them. Wasn’t there a movie, “Rutan Meets Godzilla”?

Clinton Outruns Obama to win NH (Update)

Before leaving scenic New Hampshire for the next primary state, South Carolina, reporters admired the picturesque New England stone walls. Pollsters were stood before them and shot Tuesday night. Well, that’s how the media felt, anyway, as polls wrongly indicated an Obama win, not the Clinton victory that transpired, and the whole puditocracy followed along.

Mike’s Big Money Politics: Blast-Off!

 In today’s installment, Mike helps Bill Richardson.

The pursuit of higher office in America demands dedication, sacrifice, vision, endurance, and belief in Democracy and oneself. It also requires pollsters, spinmeisters, hucksters, advance men, and enough simoleans to send every kid in the country through Harvard. And medical school.

Most of this money is donated by people inspired by the spirit of the Founding Fathers, those gifted men who wrote the Declaration of Independence, Constitution and Bill of Rights, endlessly debating concepts of Liberty and Freedom while their slaves, servants, tenants and women did all the work.