Pro wrestling promoter Donald Trump made America’s Pastime great again in 2000. Cubs fans booed.
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Baseball’s Lawrence Peter “Yogi” Berra – slugger (lifetime .285, 358 home runs, 1,430 RBIs), catcher, coach and manager, man of words and soft drink salesman – died Tuesday at the age of 90. He had played in more World Series games than anyone else, earned three Most Valuable Player awards, and played to 10 World Series wins.
Double Bubble baseball bats filled with bubblegum. Because you can’t sell chewing tobacco to kids.
Kidnapped Washington Nationals catcher Wilson Ramos has been rescued from his abductors in Venezuela. There is no truth to the rumor that he was traded for two players to be named later.
Mr. Ramos was staying with his family in Valencia, the third largest city in Venezuela, capital of Carabobo state, and his hometown. He has been spending the Major League Baseball off-season playing for the Aragua Tigers in the Venezuelan Baseball League. Ethnocentric Norteamericanos insist on calling this “winter baseball” even though it will soon be summer in the Southern Hemisphere.
More:
“Wilson Ramos rescatado con un final feliz (Wilson Ramos rescued with a happy ending),” Prensa Tigres de Aragua
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There’s a new sports collectible for baseball buffs — the grand jury indictment against William R. Clemens, aka Roger Clemens. The seven-time Cy Young Award winner is accused of obstruction and lying to Congress about his use of steroids and human growth hormone during his Major League career. Mr. Clemens pleaded not guilty in federal court yesterday.
More from Mel Antonen here.
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President Barack Obama threw out the first pitch of the season at Nationals Park on Monday. High and outside.
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Last season, Forbes magazine listed Washington Nationals owner Theodore Lerner at number 462 on their annual Billionaires’ List, with a personal wealth of $2.5 billion. The 2009 Forbes list is shorter, of course; we’re in a worldwide financial meltdown and the number of billionaires is a mere 793, down from last year’s 1,125.
Mr. Lerner, though, has bucked the trend: this year he’s #191, with assets of $3.2 billion. In 2007 Ted Lerner was in true Nationals form, at the bottom of the Bigs (#664, $1.5 billion). Let’s hear it for the home team!
Tomorrow, to celebrate Mr. Lerner’s coup, the cash-strapped DC Government will present him with $700,000-worth of sculpture it bought for him, decorations for the $611 million stadium taxpayers built for the Lerner family last year. We have not learned if the Lerners are actually paying the stadium rent this year.
Admire the sculptures your tax dollars bought for the Lerners 11:00 AM on Wednesday, April 8th, when the artwork will be dedicated at Nationals Park. RSVP to Deirdre Ehlen at the DC Commission on the Arts and Humanities (DCCAH) by email or phone (202-724-5613). The event is free. See the art you paid for before you have to buy Nationals tickets to do it.
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As part of its economic recovery effort, the DC Government commissioned $700,000 worth of sculpture for billionaire Theodore Lerner and his family. DC already built $611 million Nationals Park for the Lerners, who own the local Major League Baseball franchise, and the government wants to decorate it to suit the wealthy tenants. Who knows, this might even encourage the Lerners to actually pay rent on the stadium.
You can admire the artistic gifts your tax dollars bought for the Lerners at 11:00 AM on Wednesday, April 8th, when the sculptures will be dedicated. RSVP to Deirdre Ehlen at the DC Commission on the Arts and Humanities (DCCAH) by email or phone (202-724-5613). The event is free, so go see the art you paid for before you have to buy Nationals tickets to do it.
Forbes estimates the personal wealth of Theodore N. Lerner at $2.5 billion, but why spend your own money on art when the taxpayers will commission it for you? The DC Government dead- panned that the baseball art belongs to DC and is only on loan to the Lerners, an assertion worthy of a Larry Neal Award for fiction. The sculpture is site-specific, so saying the art is on loan is like saying you don’t own the fillings in your teeth, you only rent them.
Somebody give me a cheeseburger!
— Steve Miller, Living in the USA (1968)
What real American doesn’t like burgers? Hell, even lessmeatarian Mark Bittman’s pals Daniel Meyer and Ed Schneider like burgers! So what could be better? BIGGER burgers!
Forget those Mickey Dee puny-pounders. There’s major news from the minor leagues. This season the West Michigan Whitecaps of Grand Rapids will offer the 4,800-calorie Fifth Third Burger to manlier meat-eaters. The ‘Caps play in a ballpark named after Fifth Third Bank so, as Michael Zuidema explains in the Grand Rapids Press, the burger’s builders balance five third-of-a-pound beef patties, five slices of American cheese, salsa, nacho cheese, Fritos, lettuce, tomato, and sour cream on a big bun. The jalapeño peppers are optional.
Jim Bowden has resigned as General Manager of the Washington Nationals, but not over the dismal record of the purportedly professional team he allegedly managed for four years. The FBI suspects Bowden and José Rijo, his Special Assistant, of skimming bonus money from Latino rookies, according to league sources quoted by ESPN and AP. The financial irregularities may have started fourteen years ago, when Bowden and Rijo recruited highly-paid young Dominican players for the Cincinnati Reds.
The media first became aware of the FBI investigation back in July, while the Nationals were struggling to maintain their historic four-year record as the absolutely worst team in Major League Baseball. Public interest in the corruption investigation revived recently when swindlers cheated the alleged crooks by switching an unknown for a celebrated young player in a multi-million-dollar contract deal.
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