Meet Mitt Romney

Meet Mitt Romney

The deal made in back rooms and boardrooms was confirmed Tuesday at the official GOP product roll-out in Tampa: Willard Mitt Romney is the Republican Nominee for President of the United States of America. The GOP Convention will now introduce us to “The Real Mitt Romney.” The man is such an empty suit that it will take 48 hours, thousands of people, and millions of dollars to do it.

Of course, Mitt Romney can speak for himself and doesn’t rely on slogans. “I know there are some people who do a very good job acting and pretend they’re something they’re not,” he told Politico. “You get what you see. I am who I am.” He repeated “I am who I am” three times during the interview. Paul Ryan was inspired by Ayn Rand; apparently Mr. Romney was inspired by Popeye the Sailor Man.

So look forward to hearing heart-warming stories about “The Real Romney” from those closest to him, Ann Romney and the rest of the family, Tagg, Matt, Josh, Ben, Craig, Seamus, and Rafalca. You’ll hear how he worked his way through school by the sweat of his brow, just like you, by selling some of the stocks his daddy gave him, and achieved financial success the traditional American way, though plain old leveraged buyouts. And whether you watch the broadcast or not you owe it to yourself to read the affectionate account by columnist David Brooks:

“The Real Romney,” David Brooks, New York Times

Related:

“GOP convention attempts to make Mitt Romney seem human,” Dave Barry, Miami Herald

Exodus 3:14, 1611 King James Bible

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