Rick Perry is bored being governor of Texas and is seeking the Republican presidential nomination. Lately, the Governor has spent lots of time praying for rain, so he waited until he could rain on Michele Bachmann’s parade before entering the race. Rep. Bachmann’s landslide win in the Iowa Straw Poll (152 more votes than Ron Paul!) was forgotten in the media rush to photograph Mr. Perry, who has much better hair.
Given Mr. Perry’s recent endorsement of Texas secession, some voters are unclear about which presidency he is seeking. It is the leadership of the Republic of Texas, the Confederacy, or the US of A? We believe it is the latter, but Mr. Perry’s vision of America sure looks like the other two countries (minus the slavery … maybe).
Governor Perry’s platform is simple. He wants the rest of America to be as prosperous as Texas, so he will discover oil and gas in the other 49 states, open more military plants and bases everywhere, encourage more US investments by drug lords, and increase public sector employment by 19% like he did in Texas. President Perry will help reduce the Federal deficit by returning the $17 billion in Federal stimulus money he got for Texas. That would mean the Texas state budget will no longer balance, but he won’t be governor any more, so he won’t care.
Related:
“Ten reasons why the Texas economy is growing that have nothing to do with Rick Perry,” Jeanna Smialek, Houston Chronicle
“With Perry in race, some ask: Is there enough tea for two?” Rod Boshart, Sioux City Journal
“Rick Perry and the Texas Miracle That Wasn’t,” Julian Brookes, Rolling Stone blog
“Dear Yankee: Eight things you ought to know before you start writing stories about Rick Perry. You’re welcome,” Paul Burka, Texas Monthly
“Rick Perry’s Texas jobs boom: The whole story,” Tami Luhby, CNNMoney
“Texas and the government are chummier than you’d think,” Jared Bernstein, Christian Science Monitor blog
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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com
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