The New Terrorism: Zombies

U.S. Homeland Security forces are severely strained this weekend as zombies coordinate attacks across the country. The cause of this annual seasonal outbreak may be weaponized biohazards, caution epidemiologists, as they redouble their search to isolate a “Zombie Flu” virus.

This month saw attacks on Traverse City, Normal, Salt Lake City, Shreveport, Oakland, East Peoria, and Pittsburgh. Zombie Code Red alerts are posted for Morgantown, Dallas, Merced, Seattle, Panama City, and other U.S. cities. The global crisis threatens Glasgow, Rotorua, Toronto, and Sault Ste. Marie. Many cities observed World Zombie Day on October 10th to remember those killed by the Undead, and a commemorative opera has been commissioned.

Incident analysis indicates that Zombie outbreaks cluster near centers of higher education, perhaps because of the Undead’s appetite for human brains. Some college students are studying Zombies; others are fighting back. Citizens should observe care when in locations frequented by students, especially those serving cheap beer.

 

Top image (“ZRV: Zombie Response Vehicle”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

First Responders: Tell your Procurement Office to get you a tactical ZRV, stat, before it’s too late!

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Tags: colleges, Critical Incident Analysis, emergency response, epidemiology, first responders, halloween, higher education, Homeland Security, horror movies, Incident Analysis, students, terrorism, terrorists, undead, universities, urban terrorism, zombie flu, zombie lurch, zombie walk, zombies