Labor Day: REAL Men Grill Meat

Labor Day: REAL Men Grill Meat

This is Labor Day, ceremonial Last Day of Summer in the USA. On this three-day weekend, adult American men are obliged to offer up sacrifices to their gods, incinerating animal flesh outdoors near their homes. Families and neighbors consume the charred remains, washing them down with libations of fermented grain or carbonated sugar-water.

This custom is said to bridge cultural differences and promote family and community cohesion, but the ceremony has a grave, unstated purpose. If American men do not burn meat for them on Labor Day, the angry gods will not end summer, preventing the start of the new football season.


“Football: America’s national religion,” Chad Gibbs, Washington Post blog.

 “NFL Labor Day Cookout: Which Food Is Your Favorite Player Bringing?” Bailey Brautigan, Bleacher Report.


Note: Canadian men sacrifice meat on “Labour Day.” It has something to do with their Ice Hockey cult. Or Curling, maybe.

Image (BBQ Grill for Real Men”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht,

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