Terrorist Elf Attacks Santa!

Terrorist Attacks Santa!

The elf at Southlake Mall cut into the line of kids waiting to see Santa. Five feet tall and 108 pounds, he was dressed in tights and a red-and-green jacket with jingle bells. He carried two duffel bags, and told Santa they were full of dynamite.

Santa called mall security and headed through the food court, towards the North Pole. Police were called, the mall evacuated, and the bomb squad searched the elf’s bags.

The elf, 45-year-old William Caldwell, told a fib — there was no dynamite. Gonna get lumps of coal in his little stocking this Christmas. He’s also in jail, charged with suspicion of creating false public alarm, reckless conduct, terrorist threats and acts, possession of a hoax device, and aggravated breach of Holiday Spirit.

“Santa’s elf makes Christmas naughty list after threatening to dynamite Atlanta-area shopping center,” N.Y. Daily News.

 “Ooh, he’s an angry elf,” Kansas City Star blog.

“One of Santa’s little helpers charged with terrorist threats,” WKOW-TV, Madison, WI

“Bad Elf!” WSB Radio, Atlanta GA

“Elf jailed over Father Christmas dynamite hoax in US mall,” Daily Telegraph, UK

 

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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One Response to “Terrorist Elf Attacks Santa!”

  1. HL Says:

    Homeland Security has suspicions that he may be a member of Elf Quaeda.

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