Barbie’s Big Birthday

 Barbie's Big Birthday

Barbara Millicent Roberts, better known as Barbie, was born at the International Toy Fair in New York on March 9, 1959. Today the youthful-looking Pisces celebrates her 50th birthday with several million of her closest gal pals in the biggest single event of Women’s History Month.  

Barbie has undoubtedly received a birthday card from AARP announcing her eligibility for membership and inviting her to join. Barbie never formally retired from any of her 108 occupations, but AARP doesn’t stand for “American Association of Retired Persons” anymore. It stands for “AARP.”

Given the horrible state of California’s economy, we are concerned that Barbie may be “underwater” on her 3,500 square-foot Pacific Coast Highway dream house. We urge AARP to start a Dolli-Gap line of health insurance and hire the buxom blonde Boomer icon as spokessmodel.

Granted, Chatty Kathy is more articulate, but Barbie has poise, fashion sense, previous experience, and she looks pretty good for a gal her age (like many 50-year-old Malibu blondes, she ‘s had surgical help).  Leggy 11.5-inch Barbie Roberts still retains her girlish 4.6 — 3.5 — 5  figure.

 See the special report by Anna Vander Broek and Michael Noer in Forbes.


“Barbie” and the Barbie logo and likeness are registered trademarks of Mattel Inc.; “AARP” and the AARP logo are registered trademarks of the vast AARP empire. These items are used here under the satire provisions of the fair use doctine. NotionsCapital recieved no promotional consideration from either of these huge corporations. Rats.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht,

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.


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3 Responses to “Barbie’s Big Birthday”

  1. babyboomerqueen Says:

    Geeeeeeeeeeeee Mike, you know more about Barbie than I do…LOL

    I just bet she is already a member of AARP!

    Southern smiles and world peace,

  2. laurie Says:

    i can’t see her joining AARP quite yet. she’ll fight it. but then when she realizes what a great deal she gets on insurance for that Barbiemobile……

  3. Tattooed Barbie « NotionsCapital Says:

    […] leopard-skin tights and fresh tattoos. While the hair and tights seem questionable choices for a 52-year-old, it’s the tats that have caused […]

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