Superbowl Veg-Out

Superbowl Veg-Out

This Sunday we the people will remain faithful to the ideals of our forebears and true to our Tostitos. On that day we plant ourselves like torpid tubers on every upholstered surface of our land because we have chosen hope and beer over fear, unity of purpose and bean dip over conflict and discord.

This year we spectate amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. The challenges we face are real. The Steelers? Sure. But Arizona? St. Louis in exile? Puh-leez. What’s up with that? Perhaps Nobel laureate Al Gore can explain it; not us.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of sports handicappers. Sunday’s point spread was clearly devised by AIG, Citibank, and Bernard Madoff.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America’s decline is inevitable, that the next generation must lower its sights and observe scantily clad young women fondling broccoli, arugula, and other agricultural abominations

Let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on Victoria’s Secret, beer, cars, pop, foodpopcorn, pizza, web hosting and snacks, and with God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great remote control of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless Super Bowl


NotionsCapital is grateful to President Barack H. Obama for his assistance with this post. Despite his partisan inclinations (Steelers), Mr. Obama has invited congressmen from both sides of the aisle to his White House Super Bowl party, and will unite the country before Our Great National Spectacle through a live pre-game interview with NBC’s Matt Lauer. 

The term Super Bowltm and the Super Bowl XLIIItm logo are registered trademarks of the NFL and are used to prevent brand confusion with Tidy Bowltm and, um, duckpin bowling.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht,

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.


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6 Responses to “Superbowl Veg-Out”

  1. Mike Licht Says:

    Update: See Vive le Super Bowl!

  2. Shevonne Says:

    We also need to blame the people as well for making ridiculous money mistakes. It says a lot about us when PETA is making these sex-driven commercials and trying to change the name of fish to “sea kittens.” In order to have effective change, people’s mentalities also have to change.

  3. Mike Licht Says:

    Shevonne wrote: In order to have effective change, people’s mentalities also have to change.

    Point taken. But you do have to get people’s attention first, and PETA sure knows how to do that .

  4. yellojkt Says:

    That poor guy has the sex section of the brain sadly atrophied. It should be much, much bigger.

  5. Mike Licht Says:

    yellojkt: It used to be bigger back when the “Beer” section was smaller.

  6. Blog Stats January 2009 « NotionsCapital Says:

    […] to readers, and to President Obama, the NFL and PETA, Ex- Veep Dick Chaney, Governor Bill Richardson, Ex-Governor Rod Blagojevich, the National Bollard […]

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