Stardate 27 January 2009.An anomaly has appeared on the dashboard of Starship NotionsCapital. Hundreds of unknown entities are accessing an older blog post about New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, not the new, updated one, violating conventional laws of the Blogosphere. Holy Einstein! Have we drifted near some Black Hole or Space Warp?
No! Space Commander Bill Richardson just gave his “State of Outer Space Address,” boasting :
We even went boldly where no state has gone before—launching Spaceport America, signing Virgin Galactic as an anchor tenant, and starting a new commercial space industry in Southern New Mexico ….
Danger Will Robinson Danger, Bill Richardson! Do not enter into compacts with space aliens! The say they come to serve your citizens, but they will serve them on a bun, with slaw!
In the western sector of our solar system, where states are oddly square, laws of physics and commerce can be distorted by vast barren horizons, strange beings from BLM, and the proximity effect of neighboring spheres to the south. Our galaxy has entered the cold and gloom known as “Bush-Depression;” though humans triumphed in the recent clash of civilizations, the dark chill lingers. No wonder desperate western governors seek partnerships with powerful alien beings.
But we have seen this movie before — and sequels and remakes ad nauseum. Parasitic aliens shelter from harsh conditions, burrow in, lay their eggs, and their hatchlings feed on the body politic.
“Public-Private Partnerships” (spawn of inter-species couplings too revolting to imagine) suck the very lifeblood from host governments and innocent citizens. Aliens sign agreements, father their freakish progeny on public entities, then mutate into monsterous deadbeat dads, screaming their battle cry: “That was then! This is now!“
The agreement for New Mexico’s “Spaceport America” gives space aliens a stranglehold on Planet New Mexico’s government and budget. Their twisted alien intelligence seeks to harness the power needed to escape Earth’s gravity just to provide joyrides for the rich and rocket racing for jaded monster-truck rally fans. This can only bring financial and political disaster.
Galactic Leader Obama is keen on space, but New Mexico cannot look to the Federation for help. For New Mexico is not alone; there are competing spaceports. When the Federation first sought to commercialize space it envisioned launches of communication satellites and cargo links to space facilities; Bushmania turned this into thrill rides for the rich. In the midst of Bush-Depression, that just won’t fly. Rich folks are concerned with appearances, if not economy, and thrill-based tourism is eminently discretionary.
Danger, Bill Richardson! Danger!
Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com
Model B-9 Class M-3 General Utility Non-Theorizing Environmental Control Robot graciously provided by Robotics Division of Matsushita Electric Industrial Co., Ltd., which is not responsible for any statements in this blog post.
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