Palin Product Endorsement

Palin Product Endorsement

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin may have hinted at her next career move yesterday. Responding to McCain campaign critics of her “Wardrobegate” fiasco, she announced: “I never asked for anything more than a Diet Dr Pepper once in a while.” According to anonymous sources, the photogenic Palin will replace anorexic Nicole Richie as the Diet Dr Pepper “spokesmodel.” The attractive Alaska governor has proven teleprompter skills and a loyal following.

Other rumors are flying. Reporters seek confirmation of a $40,000 RNC Diet Dr Pepper bill for October, and journalists are investigating whether Cindy McCain intervened before the GOP convention, sending Governor Palin into rehab at The Meadows in Wickenburg, Arizona for acute Diet Dr. Pepper addiction.

Alaska state law forbids the Governor from working a second job while in office, so Sarah Palin would have to resign in order to become a paid product endorser. Palin aides privately ponder if this might not be the wisest course, since the price of oil, the source of Alaska’s economic well-being, has plunged since she hit the campaign trail, and someone who is actually qualified may have to start running the state to prevent utter disaster. Meanwhile, the Alaska State Legislature has begun “Peppergate” hearings.

Madison Avenue types wonder if Governor Palin and “First Thug” Todd will remake this popular Diet Dr Pepper video with Alaska locations:

The clever Tay Zonday may have already been commissioned to write and perform music for the “Palins for Pepper” video.  We will look into this matter as soon as we determine who (or what) Tay Zonday is (or are). A special niche market video may be produced for senior citizens, featuring the music of Guns n’ Roses.

The original Dr Pepper carbonated soft drink was invented in 1885 (coincidentally, the year of John McCain’s birth) at Morrison’s Drug Store in Waco, Texas, where McCain, Palin, and snake-handling are all extremely popular. It is doubtful that the Palins would move to Waco, where snowmobile trails are rare. The Palins will probably move to the small West Coast town where Dr Pepper (now part of Cadbury-Schwepps) is opening a new bottling plant: Victorville, California.

Image by Mike Licht, NotionsCapital. download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht,

2 Responses to “Palin Product Endorsement”

  1. Omnivore Author for Agriculture Secretary? « NotionsCapital Says:

    […] of Philly cheesesteak, Senator Clinton campaigned by downing boilermakers, and Governor Palin endorsed Diet Dr Pepper. These items are not on the menu  at Chez Panisse and other Berkeley eateries […]

  2. coffee Says:

    i suspect that Zonday will help Dr. Pepper out quite a lot

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