Bubbe! Zayde! Your grandkids really want to come down and visit you in six weeks for Hannukah, but right now they are so busy working to elect Barack Obama. Florida is important in this election; I have to warn you that if the Democrats lose it, the kids might get so broiges with the Sunshine State that they might decide to stay home.
So vote Democratic on November 4th. Listen, you want the grandkids to visit, or do you wanna eat all those latkes by yourself? With your blood pressure?
Oh sure, you hear rumors about Obama. Bupkis, pure and simple. Click here and see!
So look at the issues. The real issues, not the meschugas.
And here is an endorsement you can trust:
Nu? Mamaloshen not convincing? Remember: That Republican alter kocker voted to privatize social security. And just when we have another Depression, he’s talking like the New Deal was “Socialist.” Don’t tell him you went to Workman’s Circle — he’ll probably send you to Guantanamo!
Your grandkids have been listening to Sarah Silverman. Shayna punim, but oy, what a mouth! Here, eavesdrop on the kids:
So vote Democratic on Tuesday. Then clean the guestroom, dust off the menorah, and buy the candles. And buy some more potatoes, too. Zay gezunt!
Top image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com.
Alter kocker Old shi gent
Bupkis Nothing, of no value, zero (literally, “beans“)
Dreidel Spinning top, a Hannukah toy (online version here. Really)
Hannukah Jewish holiday, December 21-29, 2008
Latkes potato pancakes, eaten on Hannukah (recipe here)
Mamaloshen Mother tongue, Yiddish
Menorah Hannukah candalabrum
Oy Cry of dismay (no mere word; a dissertation topic )
Shayna punim Cute little face
Zay gezunt Be well (a traditional leave-taking)
Terms, pronunciations, use, and transliterations vary. Please don’t blame my Bubbe for any flagrant errors. Just laugh and send me corrections.