No-Talk Express — Re-Doubled

No-Talk Express -- Re-Doubled

Keep your mouth shut and wave the flag. Period. That is the McCain-Palin campaign in a nutshell.

John: Don’t debate Obama. No questions from reporters. Deliver the canned speech. Read it off the teleprompter.  No questions from reporters. Pose with the Legion and AmVets. Don’t remind voters that your record of financial experience is limited to membership in the Keating Five and sleeping with a millionaire, you think the poverty limit is $3 million, that Phil Gramm, the Swiss banker who pushed the finance laws that caused this world finance meltdown,  was your campaign co-chair, you have all those unforclosed houses, and you’ve been in Washington for 26 years, voting with George W. Bush over 90 percent of the time. And remember: no questions from reporters.

Cindy: Smile. Wave. Try not to look sedated. No questions from reporters. Don’t let anybody see the manuscript of the book you cancelled, the one that explains that your father was a federal felon and his mob connections got him the stake for his beer fortune. Shred the chapter that describes your drug addiction, how you stole drugs from a children’s medical charity, and how you avoided felony charges by going to a celebrity spa for a few months. No questions from reporters.

Sarah: No questions from reporters. Wrap yourself in the flag and Motherhood. Deliver the canned speech, repeat all the proven lies, especially the ones about The Bridge. Read the teleprompter. Keep up the Just-A-Mom front with voters, be Miss Congeniality with foreign officials from those places you can’t locate on a map. Pretend your inept, profligate ways as a mayor didn’t leave your town millions in debt, even though you hired lobbyists to grab millions in federal earmarks for the tiny place. And don’t talk to reporters. Promise all the hunters a full bag limit and a moose in every pot. Keep your record of political intimidation and revenge under wraps. Remember: the reason you had to go to five colleges before you graduated was because you are such a quick study that the schools kept running out of things to teach you. Yeah, that’s the story. Stick to it. And no questions from reporters.

Todd: Ignore that subpoena from the Republican-majority state legislature investigation  which your own wife first approved in the name of government transparency, then decided to duplicate using people she can fire. Try to really smile; don’t grimace like you are threatening to rip out someone’s liver. Intimidating silence worked when you sat in on committee meetings to threaten anyone opposed to Sarah’s policies, but it looks bad on TV. Keep people from remembering that you independently attended government meetings amd spoke to officials for your spouse but hold no government office, work for a British oil company, only fish a commercial “set-net” on the Nushagak Bay/Wood River estuary a few weeks a year on a permit using your old residential address up there and that, despite your claims of heritage, your wife has consistently opposed Native American subsistence and cultural rights. So keep ignoring reporters, but try not to glare at them. Please, try.

Everybody: Remember, “Freedom of Speech” means freedom to shut up and keep voters in happy ignorance. That’s the new American Way.


Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht,

One Response to “No-Talk Express — Re-Doubled”

  1. politics: speak out and remove all doubt | urban bohemian Says:

    […] Blog Log in today’s Express highlighted a really good entry from NotionsCapital in which he sums it up nicely: Keep your mouth shut and wave the flag. Period. That is the […]

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