New Olympic Demonstration Sport

The 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing are only days away, but there’s still time to add an exciting new Demonstration Sport: Spitting.

Nit-pickers will protest that the International Olympic Committee eliminated Demonstration Sports from 1996 onwards. But Olympic rules were made to be be broken — just watch the figure skating judges and see. And what could be more appropriate for the Beijing Games than Spitting?

Chinese officials have been trying to curtail the national custom of public spitting for years. Spitting in the streets and on floors has a long tradition in China, rooted in beliefs about personal well-being, even though modern medicine does not consider the habit beneficial to public health.

The Chinese government is even more concerned that this ingrained local habit will offend the sensibilities of Western visitors to next week’s Olympic games, and has tried a year-long campaign promoting “Sanitary Spitting,” issuing paper “Spit Bags” or “Spit Sacks” in taxicabs.

“Spit Sack” — ChannelNewsAsia.com

China has tried “No Spitting Day,” Anti-Spitting Drives,” and  Anti-Spitting Teams, to little effect.  Why not, um, go with the flow and try an Olympic Spitting Team?

The USA could field an opposing team of snuff-dippers and Major League Baseball players. We already have a recruiting video. America can match the Chinese loogie for loogie!

And there is a panel of celebrity judges ready to roll: Ireland’s Liam Neeson, Canada’s Avril Lavigne, and Scott Weiland of the Stone Temple Pilots. And of course Leonardo DiCaprio taught Kate Winslet how to “spit like a man” in the film “Titanic.”

 On to Beijing. Let the games begin!

 

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com