E. Coli, Perfect Complement to Salmonella

E. Coli, Perfect Complement to Salmonella

Summer is here, Dad, so scrape the rust and gunk off that charcoal grill. Looking for something to go with those tangy Salmonella-contaminated tomatoes? Try some Kroger hamburger, now fortified with E. coli. It’s flying off the shelves so get some now!

Escherichia coli is not the name of your neighbor’s Central American maid. It is a bacterium that lives in the gut of all warm-blooded animals, even . . . you. Most strains are harmless, but some are not. Toxic versions like the O157:H7 strain cause gastrointestinal problems too gastly to describe at lunchtime.

While E. coli poisoning symptoms often involve dramatic weight loss, they are too messy, smelly, and painful to be recommended as part of your bikini-time diet strategy.

It’s not even the 4th of July and we have two major food contamination alerts. Is this a great country, or what?


Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here.Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com
Downloads are not for human consumption, especially not with tomato slices.

The name Kroger and the Kroger logo are registered trademarks of Kroger and used here to prevent brand confusion with, say, Kruger Seeds  or Kruger Canoes.

3 Responses to “E. Coli, Perfect Complement to Salmonella”

  1. lacochran Says:

    Can I get it with a side of fisteria?

  2. Mike Licht Says:

    A pfistfull of Pfisteria.

  3. New Food Beef « NotionsCapital Says:

    […] in Ohio and Michigan, reports Annys Shin in her WashingtonPost.com blog. The packaged beef that Kroger recalled earlier was just part of this […]

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