Accused Fund Traders and Mortgage Fraudsters Jailed in New Yankee Stadium

Accused Fund Traders and Mortgage Fraudsters Jailed in New Yankee Stadium

Ralph R. Cioffi and Matthew Tannin, senior officials of Bears Stearns, were the first of an expected flood of  hedge fund, secondary debt market, derivative, commodities, and security traders to be arrested and indicted for fraud. They join the hundreds of real estate brokers and mortgage officers arrested by the FBI for their role in the subprime mortgage melt-down at the new, unfinished Yankee Stadium, where they will be held in custody pending trial.

The New York Corrections Department did not have space for all the new alleged offenders, and the New York Yankees baseball team needs additional funding to complete construction of their new stadium, so the federal government rented it to contain the multitude of (alleged) miscreants.

“It’s a natural,” said a Yankee front-office executive,  speaking on condition of anonymity. “They’re all wearing pinstripes, just like the Yanks! We’ll call the new park ‘The House That Greed Built.'”  He said the Yankees were warned not to take advice from detainees about funding their stadium construction deficit. MLB issued a new advisory that derivatives trading may violate league gambling prohibitions.

The Bear Sterns officials were arrested for selling funds they knew to be worthless, inciting panic among millions of salesmen across America. An unverified rumor claims that Joel Weldon and other sales motivational speakers will be charged with conspiracy. NotionsCapital will keep on top of this story.

 Image of new Yankee Stadium by Mike Licht; adapted from a photo on the Gothamist.

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