Lantslaite! Mishpocheh! Vee Geyts? How I envy you there in the beautiful Land of Our People, Miami Beach! Of course, it does start getting a biseleh heys und dempik down there about now . . . .
Listen, what is it with this bubbe maisse about Obama, the schwartze with the zeiseh punim? What shmendrik, what shmeggegie told you he’s Moslem? His name’s Barack? Was Bernard Baruch Moslem? Same name. Obama’s a goy. Nu? And this alter kocker McCain is not?
Here’s how narishkayt like this Moslem business gets started: some farmisht chaim yankel mixes up two different guys in the government. The emmes:
This is Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago.
That’s where the Obama family davens. Does Trinity United Church of Christ sound like a mosque to you? The pastor who just retired talked meshugener sometimes, but he was teaching poor residents skills and placing them in jobs, giving school supplies to poor children, helping abused women, counseling cancer survivors and helping drug and alcohol abusers. Those aren’t mitzvahs? No wonder Baruch Barack liked that church. He had been a Chicago community organizer, just like Saul Alinsky.
A biseleh heys und dempik A little hot and humid
Alter kocker Old shi gent
Bubbe maisse Fairy tale
Chaim Yankel Any fool; bumpkin (no real English equivalent)
Mitzvah Blessing; good deed
Schwartze Black person; African American
Shmeggegie Idiot (no real English equivalent)
Shmendrik Stupid person (no real English equivalent)
Vee Geyts? Wazzup?
Zay gezunt Be well (a traditional leave-taking)
Zeiseh punim Sweet face
Terms, pronunciations, use, and transliterations vary. Please don’t blame my Bubbe for any flagrant errors. Just laugh and send me corrections.
Note: This weblog post is not related to the long-running radio program “Shalom South Florida” on WLVJ-AM (1040kc) at 9 AM to 10 AM each Sunday.