After they were hitched by an Obama supporter, shy young newlyweds Jenna Bush-Hager and Henry Chase Hager snuck away from Texas in a discrete CIA-chartered flight, as “Super T” Tyrone Smith crooned The Wind Beneath My Wings as a boogaloo, backed by his 10-piece band and Henry’s inebriated fraternity brothers. There seems to be no truth to the rumor, started here, that Jenna and Henry are bound for a honeymoon in exotic Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Too bad; it would have been private and perfect (except for the sharks).
Jenna Wrapped in Furs at ANWR.
The new rumor is that the happy couple are winging to an unspecified location “in Europe.” We know all about that, don’t we? It means the couple will land at Szymany, Poland and visit the lovely resort village of Stare Kiejkuty, between lakes Wałpusz and Starokiejkuckie. It’s a bit early in the season, but newlyweds often find ways to keep warm. Privacy can be assured at the CIA secret (oops!) prison compound, a former World War II German intelligence installation also used as a training school for Soviet spies.
Jenna and Henry might decide to go on to picturesque Timişoara, Romania, on the Bega River. “Little Vienna” is known for it’s charm, the discrete Vuia Timişoara Airport, and a reputation among cognoscenti as a premiere CIA “Black Site.” Alternately, they might choose Mihail Kogălniceanu Airport, the “Black Site” near the Black Sea, convenient to Constanta and the resorts of the “Romanian Riviera.”
Either way, the lucky couple will have a redition of a honeymoon that is truly extraordinary.