Jenna’s Honeymoon – Guantanamo, ANWR or Europe?

Jennas Honeymoon Guantanamo ANWR or Europe
After they were hitched by an Obama supporter, shy young newlyweds Jenna Bush-Hager and Henry Chase Hager snuck away from Texas in a discrete CIA-chartered flight, as “Super T” Tyrone Smith crooned The Wind Beneath My Wings as a boogaloo, backed by his 10-piece band and Henry’s inebriated fraternity brothers. There seems to be no truth to the rumor, started here, that Jenna and Henry are bound for a honeymoon in exotic Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Too bad; it would have been private and perfect (except for the sharks).

The Alaska National Wildlife Reserve (ANWR) would have been a more rugged but scenic choice. The honeymooners would have been among friends from the energy sector and the few remaining native people.

Jenna's Honeymoon -- Guantanamo, ANWR, or Europe?
Jenna Wrapped in Furs at ANWR.

The new  rumor is that the happy couple are winging to an unspecified location “in Europe.” We know all about that, don’t we? It means the couple will land at Szymany, Poland and visit the lovely resort village of Stare Kiejkuty, between lakes Wałpusz and Starokiejkuckie. It’s a bit early in the season, but newlyweds often find ways to keep warm. Privacy can be assured at the CIA secret (oops!) prison compound, a former World War II German intelligence installation also used as a training school for Soviet spies.

Jenna and Henry might decide to go on to picturesque Timişoara, Romania, on the Bega River. “Little Vienna” is known for it’s charm, the discrete Vuia Timişoara Airport, and a reputation among cognoscenti as a premiere CIA “Black Site.” Alternately, they might choose Mihail Kogălniceanu Airport, the “Black Site” near the Black Sea, convenient to Constanta and the resorts of the “Romanian Riviera.”

Either way, the lucky couple will have a redition of a honeymoon that is truly extraordinary.

Images by Mike Licht. Download top image here. Download second image here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht,


6 Responses to “Jenna’s Honeymoon – Guantanamo, ANWR or Europe?”

  1. borealdreams Says:

    Ha-ha! You forgot to mention all flights were grounded except for those “very close” to Bush & the Royal Family. I really thought the Honeymoon was of a themed nature in Germany; Hunting for Nazi Gold, the Last Unpaid Debt of Great Grandpa Prescott Bush’s Business Affairs with Hilter. 🙂

  2. Mike Licht Says:

    . . . all flights were grounded except for those “very close” to Bush & the Royal Family.
    Actually, private aviation wasn’t grounded, just scheduled flights.

    . . . Great Grandpa Prescott Bush’s Business Affairs with Hilter.
    I don’t know about Prescott, but Lindbergh did business with them and Joseph Kennedy seems to have been a fan.

    All this ancient history shouldn’t weigh too heavily on the happy couple. I hope they enjoy a romantic interlude before they move to picturesque “Charm City” — Baltimore.

  3. Maui Girl Says:

    The couple are actually in Lanai, Hawaii. I rode the ferry over with them and saw them on the beach several times

  4. Mike Licht Says:

    Maui Girl:

    Thanks for the sighting. I would have thought the happy couple would seek someplace more private, like Diego Garcia.

  5. Hans Says:

    nice change of subject to democrats, but it is well known whether you chose to believe or not, that Bush’s grandfather was tied to Nazi financing during WWII.

    apparently the apple tree’s apple tree’s apple falls not far from the tree with billions unaccounted for in Iraq.

  6. Mike Licht Says:


    The point of my remark is that American oligarchs are not just Republicans. In your own example, for instance, the Bush involvement in Brown Brothers Harriman, the son of a senior partner was Averill Harriman, unsuccessful Democratic presidential candidate. Shall we castigate UBS as well? That bank is making a big push in the USA right now.

    Bush, Kennedy, Harriman etc. were investing other peoples’ money. Finance today is even more international and amorphous. The larger question: can investors find out when their funds are invested in evil pursuits — and will they care enough to change things if the rate of return is high enough?

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