Attention White People: This Is Rumor Control

Attention White People — This Is Rumor Control

Dear Fellow White Persons:

I see Internet and Blogosphere confusion regarding the religious affiliation of Illinois Senator Barack Obama. Why this should matter I (and the U.S. Constitution) have no idea, but since it does matter to some of you, allow me to help you get it right. Perhaps pictures will help.

That is a picture of the Obama family’s church (above), Trinity United Church of Christ. You can find it at 400 West 95th Street, Chicago, Illinois. TUCC (as it is known) has lots of community missions and lots of choirs; personally, I admire both endeavors, but the issue here is not me but you.

Although this is the 21st century, and skin color matters as little as hair color did back in the 20th century, some of you have obviously confused two elected officials with similar racial origins. One of them is Muslim; the other is not. Technically, neither of them was sworn into office on any book whatsoever, for members of the U.S. Congress, in both the House of Representatives and the Senate, merely raise their right hands and take the oath of office en masse. They pose for pictures with their holy books later, and this is where you got confused. You should really read the picture captions before sending erroneous email to thousands of your closest friends.

Am I going too fast? Great. Now look at this chart:

Attention White People -- This Is Rumor Control

Several U.S. Presidents have taken the oath of office without using any books whatsoever; they affirmed their intention to uphold the laws and Constitution, the way people can in any U.S. court of law. These affirmations are as binding as oaths taken on any of the many varieties of Christian and Jewish Bibles, the Qur’ān, Bhagavadgiitaa or Vedas. This right is guaranteed by the Constitution.

Fellow Euro-Americans, I hope everything is now clear to you, even those of you who live in gated communities or square states where everyone is monotonously pale. These are two entirely different gentlemen, serving our country in two different parts of the U.S. Congress.

Thank you.

Hat Tip to the Snopes folks.

Top Images: Trinity United Church of Christ.

Chart assembled by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons License; Credit: Mike Licht,

3 Responses to “Attention White People: This Is Rumor Control”

  1. Attention White People: This Is Rumor Control « NotionsCapital « Citizens Against Hate Says:

    […] Attention White People: This Is Rumor Control « NotionsCapital […]

  2. dcnative Says:

    Thank you for clearing that up.

  3. That’s Not Funny! « NotionsCapital Says:

    […] campaigners for Obama among the unaware and not-with-it have to constantly correct misconceptions about the Obamas, and are probably more exasperated than outraged by the magazine cover. People who […]

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