Anyone for Tennis?

Anyone for Tennis
(Above: Dutch Reagan, Sports Blogger.)

[Be sure to see the July 8th update.]

There’s a new team in town, the Washington Kastles of World Team Tennis (WTT).

If you are unfamiliar with the WTT, it is a 33-year-old professional tennis league. The WTT league teams are the DC Kastles, NYC Buzz, Seattle Cappuccinos, Miami Cubanos, Chicago Deep Dish, Iowa Korn, Boston Beans, LA Whatevers, and ‘Bama Bubbas, or something like that. The WTT player draft is April 1 (no foolin’).

The WTT has very straight-forward rules:

Each team fields individual players as well as Men’s Doubles, Women’s Doubles, Tag Team Tennis, Mixed Doubles (Shaken, Not Stirred), Steel Death Cage Tennis, Pet Frisbee Tennis and Rollerskate Tennis (remember: only the Jammers can score). Rebounds off stadium domes are still in play; women players wear dignified white bikinis and heels. Total team scores are adjusted for the average height, weight, and age of players multiplied by the number of corporate sponsors. Cheerleaders encourage the crowd to shout, especially during serves by the opposition.

But why the Washington “Kastles?” After the Smithsonian Castle, dancers Vernon and Irene Castle or NPR’s Carl Cassell, spelled wrong? No. The team is owned by DC-born financier Mark Ein, who bought Kastle Systems security company last year.

Okay, fair enough; that makes sense, but this logo doesn’t:

Washington Kastles logo -- from DCist

Key cards (and the newer “smartcards” and “tokens”) are symbolic of work life in security-conscious Washington, DC, and “Kastle cards” are the prototype of key cards. The company was founded by a former Secret Service agent in 1972, for goodness sake. It would make much more sense for the Washington Kastles pro tennis logo to feature Kastle cards themselves, not the medieval world. “Kastle” is a “dead metaphor” for us, like the “leg” in “table leg” or the “ear” in “ear of corn.”

Recognizing my sacred civic duty to Washington home team sports, I respectfully suggest a logo like this:

Draft Washington Kastles logo, Mike Licht,

If you agree, contact Mr. Ein and the team and let them know.

There. Now all we need are some players and a place to play. Hey Mayor Fenty, where will the city build the new tennis stadium?

(Hat tip to DCist)

Mike Licht, Top and bottom images by Mike Licht. Download Dutch the Sports Blogger here and the draft Kastles logo here. Credit to: Mike Licht,

One Response to “Anyone for Tennis?”

  1. Kastles Kome To Town « NotionsCapital Says:

    […] to use use a logo featuring an actual Kastle card (above), to no avail. We also seem to have, um,  misunderstood  a few of the league rules and the names of the other league teams, so please consult the team […]

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