Jenna’s Nuptials Immobilize Nation

Jenna's Nuptials Immobilize Nation
(Above: Texas Tech Masked Rider searches desperately for a hotel room.)

The mere rumor that Jenna Bush is getting married in Waco on May 10th has thrown Central Texas and America’s Innovation Economy into paralysis if not meltdown. The Texas Technology Student Association is scheduled to hold its Convention and Trebuchet Contest in Waco that week, but the Washington press and Bush family and friends have booked all the hotels. 10,000 technology students and Trebuchet fans from all over the country must drive as far as Austin to find hotel rooms.

The Waco City Council elections are also on May 10th, as is the 10,000-strong Race for the Cure. It’s Mother’s Day Weekend in Waco, with a Royal, Sovereign and Imperial Court of the Central Texas Empire meeting, a big handbell concert, the Baylor Bears and Texas State baseball  game there on the 13th, and events appear headed towards an inevitable, devastating catastrophe. With all these events, activities, guests, media and paparazzi, traffic and security precautions, even the Texas Technology Student Association couldn’t find a way to prevent logistical calamity.

There will even be international repercussions when the happy couple’s travel plans force a postponement of the alleged War Crimes Trials in Guantanamo Bay. That’s where the happy couple plans to honeymoon.

Guantanamo Honeymoon

 

Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com Top image by Mike Licht (who knows Tech is in Lubbock but tech is tech, right?). Download it here. Credit to: Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com. I’d let you have the bottom image but I don’t want to be cut from the wedding invitation list. Oh, I’m not? Rats.

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