Space Alien Update!

Image: Interior of something. I forget. Either Virgin Galactic 2 or prototype Metrorail subway car (credit: Virgin Galactic).

Space entrepreneur and alien (British) Sir Richard Branson is a pioneer, using bleeding edge technology to harness the unfathomable, enormous power of consumer retail market forces to explore the very envelope flaps of the Theme Park Experience.

Scientists are dumbstruck. Here they are sitting in cubicles doing boring research stuff with puny beeping machines, tinfoil satellites, invisible waves, faint flickering lights and such, crunching and re-crunching data to figure out what it means, when they could have been giving joyrides to rich guys. The sound of headsmacks at NASA in Greenbelt is audible here on Capitol Hill.

The private space effort is incredibly advanced. In just a few years it has already managed to have a fatal explosion that killed three people. Just think of the decades it took NASA to do that! Dr. Ron Paul: I apologize; government is inherently wasteful and inefficient.

This is not a purely private enterprise, of course; it’s only poor people who cannot leverage government support (losers). Governor and Martian-Ambassador-Designate Bill Richardson quit his presidential campaign to return to New Mexico and personally supervise development of Spaceport America (below).

 

The Spaceport business model looks ahead to industrial space commerce, when American jobs can be out-sourced to the Ant People of Zyprexa who will work for food (unwanted kittens, puppies and orphans). USDA will subsidize the out-going trade. Think of the profits.

Photo credits: Virgin Galatic (top), Spaceport America (motto, “New Mexico: We’ve Got Space.” Really.)

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