Posts Tagged ‘Virginia’

Penetrating Politics in Virginia

February 26, 2012

Penetrating Politics in Virginia

Virginia Republicans want to keep government out of your business – except if you’re a woman. Republicans in the Virginia Senate voted to force pregnant women to have ultrasound probes stuck up their ladybusiness before they can terminate pregnancies.

Virginia Republicans are against healthcare mandates – except if you’re a woman. Women would be forced to pay for their own forced transvaginal ultrasound probes, too.

For some reason, Virginia Republicans were surprised when their plans were met with outrage, ridicule, and the withheld affection of their own wives. Governor Bob McDonnell has since withdrawn his support for the forced, intrusive physical violations. It’s a shame, in a way, now that they’ve made up all those Bob McDonnell commemorative transvaginal probes.

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Unborn Virginians, Rejoice!

February 16, 2012

Unborn Virginians, Rejoice!

On Tuesday, the Virginia House of Delegates sent a Valentine to the Commonwealth’s fertilized human ova by granting them “Personhood.” If the bill passes the Upper House, perhaps impregnated women will be allowed to drive solo in the HOV+2 lanes.

The bill also neglects to state if the 80 percent of Virginia zygotes that do not result in human births will still remain “Persons.” Virginia is for Lovers, but apparently not for physicians, women, or rational human beings.

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

Virginia’s Newt Gingrich Scratched from Virginia Primary

December 26, 2011

Virginia's Newt Gingrich Scratched from Virginia Primary
As a Virginia registered Republican, presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich is eligible to vote in Virginia’s GOP Primary on March 5, 2012, but he isn’t eligible to be on the ballot. His campaign in the Old Dominion failed to get the signatures of 10,000 fellow Virginians on its nominating petition.

This really hits him where he lives. Newt Gingrich moved to McLean in 1999, where he and Callista Bisek moved in together in May 2000. They were married in Fairfax County that August. Mr. Gingrich has voted in McLean since 2002.

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Kids and Dog Parks

May 26, 2011

Kids and Dog Parks

Virginia’s Arlington County may ban children under the age of eight from its dog parks.

While it is true that young children might damage valuable canines, perhaps there is room for compromise. We suggest allowing children in dog parks if they weigh under 80 pounds and are well-supervised, adequately socialized, and on leashes.

Related: Rules and Regulations for Arlington’s Community Canine Areas (CCA).

Image (“Two Bloggers, after Norman Rockwell”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Falwell Teaches Freedom of the Press

April 13, 2011

Falwell Teaches Freedom of the Press

In a bold move to teach the importance of the First Amendment, Virginia’s Liberty University blocked the website of the Lynchburg News & Advance newspaper last week. University Chancellor Jerry Falwell Jr. provided a simple explanation for taking a page from the playbook of Middle Eastern tyrants: “We’re a private organization and we don’t have to give a reason and we’re not.”

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Virginia Is For Meat Lovers

November 11, 2010

Virginia Is For Meat Lovers

Former Virginia hunters just got a postcard from the Commonwealth’s Department of Game and Inland Fisheries inviting them back to the woods to kill deer. Deer hunting season opens Saturday, and the Old Dominion’s forests, farmlands, highways, and suburban yards are chock-full of whitetails (Odocoileus virginianus). They’re pesky and hungry, but also tasty.

Attention locavores: the average deer yields 50 pounds of organic, free-range red meat. Vegetarian hunters can donate venison to needy meat-eaters at local food banks.

 

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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DC Fourth of July Travel Advisory

July 3, 2010

DC Fourth of July Travel Advisory

The Fourth of July will be celebrated in the District of Columbia with the traditional street closings and detours. Travel into and around Washington DC will be slow tomorrow as tourists jam the District to watch fireworks on the National Mall. Be careful who you cut off on the Wilson and Memorial bridges on your way in, though, because no one likes pyrotechnics more than the pistol-packing patrons of Champps sports bars in Northern Virginia.

Virginia’s new law permitting concealed weapons in saloons went into effect Thursday, and patrons of Champps celebrated with Glocks and iced tea. There are good reasons to pack heat in Virginia’s sports bars. You certainly need a semiautomatic firearm at Champps to defend your family against those dangerous Loaded Chips appetizers (cheddar, pepperjack, mozzarella, Asiago cream sauce, bacon, green onions, sour cream).

Have a safe and sane Independence Day.

 

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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‘Ex-Jihadi” Baptist Seminary President Removed

June 30, 2010

'Ex-Muslim' Baptist Seminary President

Self-described Jihadi-turned-Christian evangelist Ergun Caner will not have his contract renewed as President of Baptist Liberty University Seminary. He was caught telling little white parables as Gospel truth.

Liberty U was founded by the late televangelist Jerry Falwell, pastor of Thomas Road Baptist Church, who also started the Moral Majority. He who selected Dr. Caner to head the seminary in 2005. The current LU Chancellor is Jerry Falwell, Jr., son of the founder; it was he who removed Dr. Caner from his post.

Ergun Caner claimed he was born into a strict Muslim family in Turkey, learned to hate America and Christians, and was instructed in jihad before his conversion to fundamentalist Christianity. Praise the Lord — except that Dr. Caner was born in Sweden, moved to Ohio when he was 4 years old; when his parents divorced, he lived with his mother, a Lutheran. He became an evangelical Christian as a teen, so perhaps that was the jihad he meant.

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Cuccinelli’s Coverup

May 5, 2010

 Cuccinelli's Coverup

In an attempt to protect the tender Southern sensibilities of Virginians, the Old Dominion’s attorney general, Kenneth T. Cuccinelli, has covered the bared breast of the goddess of virtue on the Virginia State Seal. The seal is also on Virginia’s flag.

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Civil War Shame in Virginia

April 9, 2010

 

Civil War Shame in Virginia

There is a Civil War scandal in Virginia that has nothing to do with Governor Bob McDonnell. The culprit: Arlington National Cemetery.

1,500 African American soldiers who served in the Union’s U.S. Colored Troops and thousands of freed slaves housed on the Arlington Estate grounds were buried in the cemetery’s Section 27, which was neglected and allowed to fall into disrepair. The cemetery was ordered to correct this shameful situation almost two decades ago.

Cosmetic changes compounded the institutional disrespect, reports Salon‘s Mark Benjamin. 500 graves now lack headstones, previously identified burials are now marked “Unknown,” some graves are misidentified, and records claim that one man is buried in two places. Cemetery Superintendent John C. Metzler, Jr. who told Congress that neglect of Section 27 would be rectified, still holds his position today.

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