“Domestic house cats, it seems, may be alien sentinels—sent to spy on us and report their findings back to the mother ship. Or, as some theorists have put it, they’re like alien camcorders tracking our every move.”
– ”Are Cats Spies Sent by Aliens? A Deep Examination of One of the Internet’s Best Conspiracy Theories,” Austin Considine, Motherboard
Image (“The Blogger and His Cat, After Edward Penfield”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com
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Flying saucers zoomed through the skies of the 1950s and 1960s. Why the lack of recent UFO sightings? Some observers say it’s due to the end of the Cold War, but South Carolina’s Jody Pendarvis blames it on the shocking lack of travel amenities for space aliens. That’s why he built a UFO Welcome Center next to his house trailer.
In a daring political move, the White House has issued a statement denying the existence of space aliens on Earth. With this act, President Obama risks offending extraterrestial voters, an important swing bloc (especially in Roswell NM and Nevada’s Area 51). Democratic Party operatives probably figure that E.T.s will support one of their own, like Michele Bachmann, anyway.
Pennsylvania’s venerable Bryn Mawr College launched itself into the 21st century today by announcing a new partnership with the Bithnian University of Science and Technology. Many U.S. colleges have international programs but, as Bryn Mawr President Jane McAuliffe observes, ”Global partnerships are so 2010.”
“Bryn Mawr is simply beyond global, and we are boldly going where no college has gone before. Our students need to learn to be intergalactic citizens.”
–”Bryn Mawr leads intergalactic Age With Bithnian Partnership” (Press release).
Dr. Hawking belives that space aliens are probably out there. If they come here, he reasons, they will be Columbus and we’ll be Carib and Arawak indians. Seen many Caribs or Arawaks lately? Right. That’s his point.
Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com
Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.
“Lamentably, alien audiences may be frustrated by the switch to digital television,” says Seth Shostak, Senior Astronomer at the SETI Institute.
“It’s not impossible to pick up our DTV broadcasts from your favorite M-class planet, but I reckon it would require antennas at least five times larger than demanded for good, old analog TV. ET may balk at the additional cost.”
An intergalactic space vehicle with 150 life forms on board came down in the Hudson River off Manhattan after hitting a flock of geese yesterday. Miraculously, everyone was rescued, but several beings without exoskeletons were slightly injured and taken to New York hospitals which accept ALF health insurance.
NASA is investigating reports that the spacecraft hit a flock of birds after entering Earth’s atmosphere and buzzing Yankee Stadium. Witnesses saw the vessel make an emergency landing in the Hudson, kicking up a cloud of spray on the river.
“The Warp Drive blew. There was fire everywhere and it smelled like xenon,” said a passenger who looked like an ambulatory sea urchin. HeShe It said the pilot announced that the craft was descending rapidly and told passengers to brace for the impact. “We hit that fluid stream pretty hard. It was scary.”
“You gotta give it to the pilot-thingy. The Hive Mind made a hell of a landing,” it added, visibly shaken. Another rescued passenger who looked like a hairless anteater told CNN: “It’s just incredible that everyone’s alive.”
