Dinesh D’Souza Teaches Adultery 101

In 2010, conspiracy loon and propaganda producer Dinesh D’Souza was appointed President of The King’s College, a Christian institution of higher yearning located near a holy Republican shrine, the New York Stock Exchange, and funded by the Campus Crusade for Christ.  Mr. D’Sousa got a million dollars a year to run the evangelical college in between churning out books and movies and making well-paid speaking engagements and media appearances where he spoke about ethics, faith, and morality. Somehow he found time in his busy schedule to leave his wife for someone else’s wife, a young woman whom he’s been introducing as his “fiancée.” Now, that’s family values. Praise the Lord!

This situation was revealed by the evangelical Christian World Magazine. Naturally Mr. D’Sousa claimed it was all a conspiracy, but he was forced to resign anyway.

The Good, The Bad, & The Badminton

The modern Olympic Games have seen some scandals and controversies in the past, but as Laura McLay observes, “I never thought I’d hear the words ‘badminton’ and ‘scandal’ in the same sentence.”  In the Olympic Badminton preliminaries several national teams decided to throw matches in order to draw weaker opponents in subsequent rounds. The big-time birdie-chasers weren’t world-class cheaters, though, and the whole mess became a big shuttlecock-up. The woman athletes were so obviously unsporting that the IOC Racquet Squad threw them out of the Games. Two were from China, four from South Korea and two from Indonesia. The pair from China have been identified as Yu Yang and Wang Xiaoli, the world doubles champions.

Newt Gingrich Woos South Carolina GOP Voters

Disgraced former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich leads in the last opinion polls before today’s South Carolina Republican primary elections. His platform: “Blame the media for reporting the facts about me.” The facts? Serial, long-term adultery.

The rotund Republican romeo is chatting up GOP values voters with the line “My last ex-wife doesn’t understand me.” Will Palmetto State voters be seduced? Probably. Their other choices are an elderly pro-pot gynecologist, a K Street lobbyist, and a Mormon.

Related:

“Ex-Mrs. Gingrich Reacts to Newt: ‘My Story Is the Truth,’” Brian Ross, ABC News

“Newt Gingrich – Marital Affairs,” ThePoliticalGuide.com (esp. the chart)

“Ex-wife: Newt creates a political illusion,” UPI

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Herman Cain Packs It Up

Herman Cain has suspended his quest for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination in order to spend more quality time with his marriage counselor. He will probably spend the balance of his campaign chest buying copies of his own horrible book, since he’s done that before.

Herman Cain: Deep Dish?

An Atlanta woman told Fox News that she had a 13-year extramarital affair with Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain. In keeping with his “nein-nein-nein!” policy, Mr. Cain has denied the allegations. Besides, his lawyer added, it’s nobody’s business if he did it.

More:

“Georgia Woman Finally Accuses Herman Cain Of The Affair He’s Denying,” Margaret Hartmann, Jezebel

“Lady Claims Whirlwind 13-Year Romance Affair With Herman Cain,” Wonkette

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Happy Birthday Silvio Berlusconi

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi turned 75 yesterday. The AC Milan soccer team sent greetings to the embattled billionaire — he owns the franchise — but he got brickbats from most Italians. His biggest gift was a new sex scandal: former Miss Montenegro Katarina Knezevic says she had an affair with him.

Berlusconi: ‘Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien’

“Coming from a politician who has previously likened himself to Napoleon and Jesus Christ, there was perhaps always going to be one answer when Silvio Berlusconi was asked what in the past he would change if given the chance.

 ’No, there’s nothing that I consider a real mistake,’ replied the Italian prime minister, who has suffered a draining away of political support in recent times as he fended off accusations of sleeping with teenage prostitutes and charges that his country’s economy is now heading for the rocks under his erratic stewardship.”

Berlusconi Vowed to Leave Italy

The good news: Silvio Berlusconi vowed to leave Italy.

The bad news: He didn’t say when.

Prime Minister Berlusconi made the statement in a phone conversation to his pimps, who were also blackmailing him. While his language was rather coarse, Mr. B. is no Rod Blagojevich.

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Image (“Berlusconi Seraglio, after Fernand Cormon”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Mr. Weiner Hangs It Up

Rep. Anthony D. Weiner (D-NY 9) resigned from Congress. He didn’t tweet about it, but the media noticed.

All Weiner All The Time

Congressman Anthony D. Weiner’s odd hobby is God’s gift to media. Now he’s asking to take a leave of absence to get therapy. Fellow Democrats are asking him to take a hike.