Entertainer Paula Abdul has been named to the Death Panel mandated under the new U.S. Healthcare Reform bill. We have been unable to confirm either of the facts in that last sentence, but that hasn’t stopped anyone else from making statements on the healthcare reform issue, either, so we’re going with it.
“Ms. Abdul is the perfect choice for this job,” said an unidentified government source. “She is leaving her prior post on the American Idol panel at considerable sacrifice due to her strong personal commitment to public service.”
According to the well-known medico-legal authority Mrs. Sarah Palin of Wasilla, Alaska, the Obama Death Panel will decide how she will next exploit her own family for the sake of publicity which “special needs” children and senior citizens will live or die. This will lower medical bills for surviving Americans. Cast members of “Survivor” were unavailable for comment.