On July 7, 1999, David Whipple bought a McDonald’s hamburger. He’s still got it. Mr. Whipple forgot that he put the burger in his coat pocket and found it two years later. Today the pickle is pretty sad, but the 14-year-old burger and bun look just … well, see for yourself:
Warning: It’s McRib season in America, so be careful what you eat. Often mistaken for an innocent sandwich, the McR is composed of “Restructured Meat” made from pulverized and re-glued pig innards, ammonium sulfate, polysorbate 80, sodium benzoate, thiamin mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid partially hydrogenated soybean and/or cottonseed oils, calcium sulfate, ammonium sulfate, soy flour, sodium stearoyl lactylate, ascorbic acid, mono- and diglycerides, ethoxylated mono- and diglycerides, monocalcium phosphate, calcium peroxide, calcium propionate,high fructose corn syrup, xanthan gum, and sodium benzoate. And let’s not forget azodicarbonamide, used to make yoga mats.
Public health officials have produced an online map you can use to avoid the worst infestations.
More:
“McDonald’s McRib Sandwich a Franken Creation of GMOs, Toxic Ingredients, Banned Ingredients,” Anthony Gucciardi, Natural Society
“The Invention of the McRib and Why It Disappears from McDonald’s,” Whet Moser, Chicago Magazine
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Image (“What McRibs Are Made Of”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com
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McDonald’s is expanding the number of its hamburger franchises in China. It has 1,400 on the mainland now, and plans to add up to 250, including 100 new drive-throughs. McD’s claims this eatery escalation is not an attempt to overtake KFC’s dominance in China (3,200 stores) in a fast food arms race, merely a drive to claim the growing market share of Chinese beef eaters too fat and lazy to get out of their shiny new SUVs.
The McDonald’s Corporation started 2012 with TV ads personalizing the multinational fast food giant through first-person “McDonald Stories” narrated by its rural, agricultural suppliers. A few days back McDonald’s took the human element a step further, inviting consumers to add their own 140-character #McDStories on Twitter, a recipe for disaster. McDonald’s found the results not to their taste, and 86ed the Twitter campaign.
More:
“#McDStories: When A Hashtag Becomes A Bashtag,” Kashmir Hill, Forbes
“‘McDialysis? I’m Loving it!’: McDonald’s Twitter Promo Fail,” Colleen Curry, ABC News
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Just in time for Halloween, McDonald’s resurrects the McRib sandwich. Some think this machine-formed mechanically-separated pork product is the Frankenstein of fast food, but Francis Lam once praised it as an “important advancement in Postmodern Simulacra Cuisine.” Japan has Kanikama (imitation crab); America has McRib.
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Image (“What McRibs Are Made Of”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com
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At first we thought McDonald’s had opened a UK franchise of famed Hamburger University. The Oak Brook, Illinois campus flips out 5,000 students a year (over 80,000 served), but doesn’t have much of a football team.
Britain’s Manchester Metropolitan University has it’s own McDonald’s degree program, though. The university’s Business School also runs degree programs for Tesco supermarkets and Booth’s. The latter is either for Booth’s supermarkets or Booth’s Gin.
Attention U.S. exchange students: “Chips” means “fries” in Blighty, “chips” are “crisps,” and the drive-thru window is on the wrong side of the building. Start studying now.
Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com
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New York photographer Sallie Davies put the hamburger from a McDonald’s Happy Meal® on her windowsill on April 10th and started taking pictures of it. After six months it was a little smaller and darker but it did not rot.
In the ensuing uproar, edibles archeologists discovered a 12-year-old McDonald’s hamburger and a 21-year-old burger. The implied or overt claims of the fossil fast food curators, that over-processing and drugs or preservatives halted the hamburgers’ decay, was emphatically denied by McDonald’s.
Above: What McRibs are made from.
McDonald’s has resurrected the McRib. It’s ”a ghost of fast food past,” says Salon’s Francis Lam, an historic and “important advancement in Postmodern Simulacra Cuisine.” Japan has Kanikama (imitation crab); America has McRib.
Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com
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The employment situation has been pretty grim, but things are looking up for one older employee. Despite rumors to the contrary, Ronald McDonald is keeping his job.
Mr. McDonald has been working at the same job for 50 years, but that clown never tires of luring young children into the wonderful world of obesity and type 2 diabetes. Ronald will never retire. It’s not the pay, it’s the job satisfaction.
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Nutrition activists want to retire Ronald McDonald, fast food corporate spokesclown since 1963. Critics claim his TV ads target children and lure innocent infants into obesity by making unhealthy foods look like fun. They want Ronald to saddle up Joe Camel and ride into the sunset.
It could be worse for the burger-mongering buffoon. A crazed Internet mob has stormed Sesame Street, trying to starve Cookie Monster to death. Ronald is in no danger there; he’s no longer welcome in that neighborhood.
Is Mr. McDonald already history? Even now, youngsters are auditioning for his job:
