Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Rover Lands on Mars, Discovers Ample Parking

August 6, 2012

Rover Lands on Mars, Discovers Ample Parking

NASA’s Curiosity Rover vehicle made a successful landing on the surface of Mars yesterday and immediately found a parking space. Preliminary data from the rover suggest an abundance of parking places on the surface of the Red Planet. Scientists at California’s Jet Propulsion Lab are already calculating the feasibility of bringing the parking spaces back to Earth and installing them in major metropolitan areas. Savings in parking fines alone would recoup the cost of the Mars mission ten-fold.

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Short Link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-dL8

Image by Mike Licht & NASA. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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The YouTube Collection

April 1, 2012

Available April 1, 2012.

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Short Link:  http://wp.me/p6sb6-cUV

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St. Pratie’s Day

March 17, 2012

St. Pratie's Day

St. Patrick is a patron of Ireland. March 17th, the liturgical Feast of St. Patrick, almost always occurs during the Lenten fast. Think about it.

And think about the potato (Solanum tuberosum; Gaelic “práta,” anglicized to “pratie“). Successful introduction of this New World crop bolstered the Irish countryside; the crop failures of the Potato Famine sent Irishmen to America; the Irish-American secular observance of St. Patrick’s Day was exported back to Ireland. Faith and Begorrah! And you thought “Globalization’ was new.

Read Gregory McNamee’s excellent post on the Britannica blog, and stop by the Potato Museum on your way back from the pub.

Sure an’ all, wee Mr. Potato Head® is a registered trademark of Hasbro, Inc.,  used here under the “satire” provision of the Fair Use doctrine, dontcha know.  Mr. Head is a Yank “Baby Boomer,” but clean the paidrín up and he makes a proper little leprechaun.

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-cNk

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Visiting Santa? Call for Directions.

December 9, 2011

Visiting Santa? Call for Directions.

If you plan on visiting Santa Claus in his polar workshop this season, better call that jolly old elf for directions. You may have trouble finding his place on your own:

“Adjust your compass now: the north pole is migrating to Russia,” Guy Adams, The Independent.

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Short Link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-bLw

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length. Yes, we know a GPS uses satellite navigation and not magnetism, but electronics are funnier.

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Breakthrough Technology

August 7, 2011

Dr. Bud Haggart explains the Turboencabulator (above), technology that will change your world.

More here.

Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-aNY

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Mona Lisa Found?

June 15, 2011

Mona Lisa Found?

Investigators excavating the site of Sant’Orsola convent in Florence have found a skeleton. They believe it might be that of Lisa Gherardini del Giocondo, subject of the most famous portrait in the world, DaVinci’s Mona Lisa.

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What Men Think About

April 12, 2011

What Men Think About

Shed Simove has published a book called What Every Man Thinks About Apart From Sex. Each of the book’s 200 pages is completely blank.

The book is a worldwide best-seller.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Today’s Holiday

February 21, 2011

Today's Holiday

The 3rd Monday in February finds banks and post offices across America closed, but no one really knows why. Some kind of holiday, obviously.  Some think it’ss called “President’s Day;” some go with “Presidents Day;” others “Presidents’ Day.” According to the United States Code it’s Washington’s Birthday, but George was actually born on February 22nd.

At our house we call the holiday “Lincoln and Cadillac’s Birthday” in recognition of the traditional car sales that mark this day from sea to shining sea. God Bless America and have a safe and sane holiday, whatever you call it.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Turkey Torching Tips for Guys

November 22, 2010

 Turkey Torching Tips for Guys

The National Fire Protection Association claims “turkey fryers that use oil, as currently designed, are not suitable for acceptably safe use by even a well-informed and careful consumer.” Wimps! Thursday is Thanksgiving, when we give thanks for college football and a four-day weekend. That’s when Real American Men generate Code Orange air quality by incinerating poultry on the patio.

Any pantywaist can cook on those SUV-sized natural gas, propane, electric, or gelignite-powered barbecue grills with all those fancy features (good subwoofers do help spread sauce evenly, though). Nah, let’s get ready to deep-fry some turkey. Here’s how:

1. Put Fire Department on Speed-Dial. Keep your cell phone in your welding apron pocket. It is unwise to enter a flaming residence to use the telephone.

2. Purchase more equipment. You can never have enough Real Guy outdoor cooking gear. Buy some new stuff at Home Depot first. Don’t bother with those electronic gizmos at Leading Edge; you can never read the LCD screens outdoors anyway. Williams-Sonoma? Isn’t that the California wine the wife likes?

3. Don’t forget the turkey. Make sure it is big enough to bother with. Double-check to make sure you are not buying a goat or lamb.

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Happy Fiscal New Year

October 1, 2010

Happy Fiscal New Year

“May old encumbrance be forgot, and never brought to mind . . . .”
– Singer and retired Federal employee Joe Hickerson.

WASHINGTON, DC, October 1 — While some District of Columbia residents celebrate the merciful end of the Nationals’ baseball season, Federal employees throughout the Washington region and across the country observe their traditional holiday, the Fiscal New Year. Fiscal 2010 ended at midnight last night; today is the start of Fiscal Year 2011 (FY 2011 for short).

Fiscal New Year’s Eve in DC is always hectic with shredding, firing, and hiring. Lobbyists pitch in, helping Congressional staffers craft last-minute earmarks to hang from the Continuing Resolution.

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