Posts Tagged ‘food’

Velveeta Crisis

January 8, 2014

Velveeta Crisis

“America may be facing a Velveeta shortage,” warns Schuyler Velasco:

“The crisis comes to us courtesy of AdAge, which contacted Velveeta-maker Kraft foods after rumors surfaced that inventory of America’s favorite cheese-like substance was becoming low in grocery stores on the East Coast due to a possible production issue. ‘Given the incredible popularity of Velveeta this time of year, it is possible consumers may not be able to find their favorite product on store shelves over the next couple of weeks,’ Kraft spokeswoman Jody More wrote AdAge via e-mail. ‘Our retail customers are aware of the situation and we expect it to be a short-term issue.’”

– “Velveeta shortage threatens to make the Super Bowl less cheesy,” Schuyler Velasco, Christian Science Monitor

More:

“Velveeta shortage: No queso for the Super Bowl?”  Jenn Harris, Los Angeles Times

“Cheesy shortage: Kraft says Velveeta running low,” Bruce Horovitz, USA Today

“Kraft warns of a Velveeta shortage,” Fox News

“Kraft could face a cheesy meltdown with Velveeta shortage,” Aimee Picchi, CBS Moneywatch

“Cheesepocalypse nears as Kraft runs low on Velveeta,” Aaron Pressman, Yahoo Finance

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Happy New Year & Lucky Legumes

January 1, 2014

Happy New Year & Lucky Legumes

Happy New Year to you and yours from NotionsCapital.com

Remember: If you must eat black-eyed peas and drive, roll down the windows.

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Does Santa Know About This?

December 10, 2013

Does Santa Know About This?

Guess who’s coming to Christmas Dinner? Muslim friends! Main course? Halal reindeer meat. “It’s the tastiest meat in the world,” says Harry Dyrstad of Norway’s Vilteksperten slaughterhouse. ‘It is going to be exciting to see how Muslims receive the taste of reindeer. This is a completely new halal product that many Muslims have not had tasted before,” adds Mehtab Afsar, General Secretary of the Islamic Council of Norway.

More:

“Rudolph the red-nosed HALAL reindeer? Norway to sell Muslim-friendly Christmas meat,” Al Bawaba

“Halal Reindeer Meat to Bring Christmas Tradition to Muslim Houses in Norway,” The Nordic Page

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-hXh

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Thanksgiving

November 28, 2013

Thanksgiving

Native Americans brought corn chips and guacamole dip. Pilgrims brought pizza and beer. It was the first “fun” Thanksgiving.

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Turkey & Latkes

November 27, 2013

Turkey & Latkes

For the first time since 1888, and the last time until 79811, Thanksgiving and the first night of Hanukkah fall on the same date. What does it mean? Consensus: Eight nights of leftovers.

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Turkey Carving Tips for Real Guys

November 26, 2013

Turkey Carving Tips for Real Guys
Oh no! Despite reading Turkey Torching Tips for Guys you have a great big, fully cooked, deep-fried Thanksgiving turkey on your hands. You examine it minutely and discover there’s no little red zip tab to open so you can take out slices. What now?

That’s some big old avian cadaver you got there, buddy. There’s only one manly way to divvy it up. That’s right: chainsaw.

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Turkey Torching Tips for Guys

November 22, 2013

Turkey Torching Tips for Guys

The National Fire Protection Association claims “turkey fryers that use oil, as currently designed, are not suitable for acceptably safe use by even a well-informed and careful consumer.” Wimps! Next Thursday is Thanksgiving, when we give thanks for college football and a four-day weekend. That’s when Real American Men generate Code Orange air quality by incinerating poultry on the patio. Yeah, buddy!

Any pantywaist can cook on those SUV-sized natural gas, propane, electric, or gelignite-powered barbecue grills with all those fancy features (good subwoofers can help spread sauce evenly, though). Nah, let’s get ready to deep-fry us some turkey. Here’s how:

1. Put Fire Department on Speed-Dial. Keep your cell phone in your welding apron pocket. It is unwise to enter a flaming residence to use the telephone.

2. Purchase more equipment. You can never have enough Real Guy outdoor cooking gear. Buy some new stuff at Home Depot first. Forget about those electronic gizmos from Leading Edge, you can never read their LCD screens outdoors anyway. Williams-Sonoma? Isn’t that the California wine the wife likes?

3. Don’t forget the turkey. It should be big enough to bother messing with. Double-check to make sure you are not buying a goat or lamb.

4. Check interior compartment of poultry (note: light does not go on automatically; use your Maglite). Any paper-wrapped parcels inside will not contain Surprise Creme Filling. Remove; give to wife or cat. If the bird is frozen, use your Benz-0-Matic torch judiciously or the meat will be dry. At this point you may marinate the turkey in any fluid mixture as long as it contains beer.

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Pie Charts

November 21, 2013

Pie Charts

M-m-m-m. Pie.

The chalkboard outside Eastern Market’s Silver Spork (above) reminds us that it’s time for autumn pies. Is omission of sweet potato pie an index of neighborhood gentrification?

Anyway, that chart is fine for November, but over at Modern Farmer Molly Birnbaum and Omar Lee have baked up a 4-season pie chart.

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-hQm

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

 Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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McRib Confidential

November 18, 2013

McRib Confidential
Warning: The McRib is back It’s a seasonal plague, like the flu. Public health officials have produced an online map so you can avoid the worst infestations.

Often mistaken for an innocent sandwich, the McR is composed of “Restructured Meat” made from pulverized and re-glued pig innards, ammonium sulfate, polysorbate 80, sodium benzoate, thiamin mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid partially hydrogenated soybean and/or cottonseed oils, calcium sulfate, ammonium sulfate, soy flour, sodium stearoyl lactylate, ascorbic acid, mono- and diglycerides, ethoxylated mono- and diglycerides, monocalcium phosphate, calcium peroxide, calcium propionate,high fructose corn syrup, xanthan gum, and sodium benzoate. And let’s not forget azodicarbonamide, used to make yoga mats.

Want to see what it looks like before it’s covered in sauce? Sure? Okay then, look here.

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KFC Cancels Syria’s Order

November 8, 2013

KFC Cancels Syria's Order

“In 2006, Kentucky Fried Chicken opened Syria’s first American restaurant in Damascus. The franchise weathered more than two and a half years of war, but this month, it became one of the last foreign businesses in the country to close its doors.”

 – Adam Heffez, “What KFC’s Exit From Syria Says About the Country’s Horrifying Food Crisis,” The Atlantic

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-hJm

Image (“Arabian Delights, after Ludwig Deutsch”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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