Disgraced Former Governor Mark Sanford, noted Republican adulterer, has defeated comedian Steven Colbert’s sister and is the new Representative of South Carolina’s First Congressional District. He held that office once before, then became the Palmetto State’s governor and secretly ran off to Argentina with his mistress, telling aides he was hiking the Appalachian Trail.
Sounds like a good candidate for the House Foreign Affairs Committee.
Disgraced Former Governor Mark Sanford, noted Republican adulterer, has won a primary runoff election and is now the Republican candidate for South Carolina’s First Congressional District. He held that office once before, then became the Palmetto State’s governor and secretly ran off to Argentina with his mistress, telling aides he was hiking the Appalachian Trail. Sounds like a good candidate for the House Foreign Affairs Committee.
He has to win the general election first. Already a figure of ridicule, he’ll have to defeat comedian Steven Colbert’s sister. Really.
Related:
“The Sierra Club helps Mark Sanford find the Appalachian Trail,” Shea Gunther, Mother Nature Network
“Mark Sanford’s fiancée Maria Belen Chapur attends his victory party,” Washington Post
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Disgraced Republican adulterer and ex-Governor Mark Sanford plans to run for Congress, but his path will be steeper than the Appalachian Trail. For one thing, his ex-wife may enter the race, and she has a lot more good will. On the other hand, Mr. Sanford has lots more experience in foreign affairs.
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David Petraeus, retired four-star general and married man of 37 years, stepped down as CIA Director on Friday, admitting to an unwise extramarital affair. President Obama accepted his resignation.
Upon learning that a government official committed adultery, the American people had two questions. The first: “So what?” Expect plenty of questions from Republican congressmen, though, particularly those who’ve been caught in bed with women not their wives.
Everyone has a second question ….
In 2010, conspiracy loon and propaganda producer Dinesh D’Souza was appointed President of The King’s College, a Christian institution of higher yearning located near a holy Republican shrine, the New York Stock Exchange, and funded by the Campus Crusade for Christ. Mr. D’Sousa got a million dollars a year to run the evangelical college in between churning out books and movies and making well-paid speaking engagements and media appearances where he spoke about ethics, faith, and morality. Somehow he found time in his busy schedule to leave his wife for someone else’s wife, a young woman whom he’s been introducing as his “fiancée.” Now, that’s family values. Praise the Lord!
This situation was revealed by the evangelical Christian World Magazine. Naturally Mr. D’Sousa claimed it was all a conspiracy, but he was forced to resign anyway.
Disgraced former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich leads in the last opinion polls before today’s South Carolina Republican primary elections. His platform: “Blame the media for reporting the facts about me.” The facts? Serial, long-term adultery.
The rotund Republican romeo is chatting up GOP values voters with the line “My last ex-wife doesn’t understand me.” Will Palmetto State voters be seduced? Probably. Their other choices are an elderly pro-pot gynecologist, a K Street lobbyist, and a Mormon.
Related:
“Ex-Mrs. Gingrich Reacts to Newt: ‘My Story Is the Truth,’” Brian Ross, ABC News
“Newt Gingrich – Marital Affairs,” ThePoliticalGuide.com (esp. the chart)
“Ex-wife: Newt creates a political illusion,” UPI
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While in Charleston debating family values and ideological purity with GOP rivals, Newton Leroy Gingrich found himself debating Ex-Wife #2 on what to call his adultery. In an interview with Brian Ross of ABC News, Marianne Gingrich claimed Mr. Gingrich, revealing his 6-year affair with then-employee Callista Bisek, asked her for an “open marriage.” The happy couple divorced in 1999. Callista Bisek is now Gingrich Wife #3.
Mr. Gingrich, disgraced former Speaker of the House, angrily denied the “Open Marriage” charge before God and the television audience. He apparently prefers to call his adultery something else. No word on what he called it when he cheated on Wife #1 with Marianne in much the same fashion.
An Atlanta woman told Fox News that she had a 13-year extramarital affair with Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain. In keeping with his “nein-nein-nein!” policy, Mr. Cain has denied the allegations. Besides, his lawyer added, it’s nobody’s business if he did it.
More:
“Georgia Woman Finally Accuses Herman Cain Of The Affair He’s Denying,” Margaret Hartmann, Jezebel
“Lady Claims Whirlwind 13-Year Romance Affair With Herman Cain,” Wonkette
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Adulterous Nevada Republican John Ensign resigned his U.S. Senate seat before the Senate Ethics Committee issued a report that would have led to his expulsion. The last time the U.S. Senate expelled a member: 1862.
The Ensign ethics report is out, so add it to your summer reading list. Some may think it’s not a romance novel, but Mr. Ensign’s web of deceit involved a long-term affair with His Neighbor’s Wife (an employee and spouse of an employee), which he covered up with hush money drawn from campaign funds.
John Ensign, U.S. Senator from Nevada (“The Whores & Gambling State”) has announced his resignation from Congress, despite earlier promises to see out the remainder of his term. The Evangelical Christian Republican, a confessed adulterer who slept with His Neighbor’s Wife, resigned to avoid an ethics investigation into the $96,000 payment of hush money he made to said Neighbor’s Wife, an employee and the wife of an employee.
