Senator John Ensign (R-NV) is leaving his long-time DC digs at 133 C Street SE on Capitol Hill, where a conservative Christian cabal maintains rooms for powerful lawmakers (the building is registered as a church and pays no taxes). Is “the Fellowship” forcing Senator Ensign to leave his below-market bargain pied-à-terre?

No. The senator maintains he left on his own, to spare other house residents further negative publicity — as if he, Chip Pickering, and  Mark Sanford had never lived, loved, and prayed at C Street. It is true, though, that Mr. Ensign, an Evangelical, will probably have to face the glare of the Senate Ethics Committee to explain the pay-offs made to his mistress, Cynthia Hampton, by his father, gambling magnate Mike Ensign. There is also talk of a Justice Department inquiry.

And “The Fellowship” does prize its secrecy, emerging only once a year as the vague power behind the National Prayer Breakfast but working behind the scenes as a mission to the powerful. If Fellowship members are in the spotlight, they might have to stop praying with mass murders, rich thugs and oligarchs, as they have done throughout the organization’s 70-year history. 

The Fellowship has been compared to a “viral AA” of the rich and powerful. It calls itself “private” though outsiders see it as “secret.” According to Jeff Sharlet, author of the timely book The Family : The Secret Fundamentalism at the Heart of American Power,  the group takes as its charter Romans 13:

 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.

What have The Least Among Us done for you lately? The Fellowship cultivates the rich and powerful — whoever is currently in power — discretely, in the name of God.

The location of Senator Ensign’s new DC home is unknown. It will probably cost three or four times his C Street rent.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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This is Veterans Day in the United States. It was once called Armistice Day, marking the time the guns stopped in The Great War, at the eleventh hour on the eleventh day of the eleventh month of 1918. When that failed to be The War to End All Wars, the observance was renamed Veterans Day in 1954.

This year the holiday is marked by the launch of a new web site for vets, Today’s G.I. Bill, a guide to education benefits for post-9/11 veterans that is more user-friendly than the Department of Veterans Affairs or active-duty military sites. The project is supported by the Lumina Foundation and the American Council on Education.

While implementation of the education benefit is not without problems, it has been more successful than other vet programs. 131,000 U.S. veterans will be homeless tonight. 5.5 million vets are living with a disability. Up to 35% of Iraq veterans experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). You can help. Look here to find out how.

Hat tip: Inside Higher Ed

Hear and read the stories of veterans in their own words at the website of Veterans History Project of the American Folklife Center.

Image: Lumina Foundation.

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Ex-Astronaut Lisa Nowak, who attacked her rival in a love triangle, pleaded guilty today to burglary of a car and misdemeanor battery, avoiding kidnapping and attempted murder charges. Under a plea bargain agreement, she was sentenced to two days in jail (already served) and one year of probation, which she will undoubtedly serve in the company of a literary agent and ghost writer.

On February 5, 2007, Captain Nowak was arrested at the Orlando airport after driving 900 miles non-stop from Houston and pepper-spraying her romantic rival, Air Force Captain Colleen Shipman. Ms. Shipman was the current lover of Ms. Nowak’s old flame, Astronaut William Oefelein.

Nowak’s car contained latex gloves, a wig, a BB pistol and ammunition, pepper spray, a 2-pound drilling hammer, rubber tubing, plastic garbage bags, an 8-inch folding knife, and (apparently) the Astronaut’s friend, Maximum Absorbency Garments (adult diapers). Ms. Nowak denied wearing the diapers on her non-stop 24-hour drive. She also pleaded insanity before taking the plea bargain.

NASA dismissed both of the lover-Astronauts. The trial made public intimate emails, embarrassing  Ms. Shipman and Mr. Oefelein. Ms. Nowak pleaded guilty.

But there is a happy ending. The Shipman-Oefelein wedding is scheduled for the summer of 2010.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Let’s take a meeting about meeting presentations. A short one. Here’s the take-away:

A slide show is not a presentation.

Q: Says who?

A: Edward R. Tufte, professor emeritus of political science, computer science and statistics, and graphic design at Yale and Dr. T.X. Hammes (Colonel USMC, retired), among others.

Q. I have another meeting in ten minutes. Can you summarize that for visual learners? 

A. Here’s an evil slide by … Darth Vader. The cognitive style of PowerPoint really messed up Abe Lincoln’s Gettysburg meeting. Engineer-turned-comic Don McMillan explains “How NOT to Use PowerPoint.” And beware of Death By PowerPoint.

Q. Does anyone have rules for using slideware like PowerPoint?

A. Plenty of folks. People who do presentation training often have complex systems, but venture capitalist and author Guy Kawasaki has a good rule of thumb: 10 slides, 20 minutes, 30-point font.

Meeting adjourned.

Image (“Portrait with PowerPoint, after Pieter Jansz van Asch”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Amazing Grace Baptist Church in North Carolina held its annual Bible Barbecue last week, on Halloween.

The Church believes that the 1611 King James Bible (commissioned by the bisexual British monarch) is the only true Scripture. Each year Amazing Grace collects and carbonizes copies of “perversions” like The Good News BIble, New Century Bible, Living Bible, Bible Tales for Tots and works by those heretics Billy Graham, Oral Roberts, James Dobson, and Mother Teresa.

Also incinerated: “Satan’s music such as country, rap , rock , pop, heavy metal, western, soft and easy, southern gospel, contemporary Christian, jazz, soul, oldies but goldies, etc.” Presumably the music of John Dowland, William Byrd, Thomas Campion, John Bull, Orlando Gibbons, Thomas Ravenscroft, and Sir William Leighton escaped the torch, as these gents flourished around 1611.

This year’s incendiary event was not open to the public or the media, so we do not know if toasting marshmallows and roasting weiners were part of the fiery festivities.

Image:  Florida Institute of Technology Evans Library “Banned Books” page 

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New! Just in time for National Blog Posting Month – a new blogging accessory that banishes blank screens forever.

Perfect for the blogger who has everything but daily inspiration.  This tool of pro bloggers can now be yours. So intuitive it practically posts itself.

What kind of posts does it generate? You’re reading one!

[Batteries not included]

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Considering October’s unprecedented outbreak of Zombie Behavior Spectrum Disorder (ZBTD), it is not too early to prepare for next year’s seasonal Undead epidemic. This is not just a health or public safety concern. Zombie outbreaks slow the recovery of our economy, but fighting the Undead could provide a living wage for thousands of unemployed Americans. There is no better use for federal Recovery Act funding than Zombie control.

CDC and WHO epidemiologists have determined that Zombie outbreaks are likely in areas sharing these traits:

– Large proportion of population age 16 to 30

– Widespread WiFi service

– High volume of cellphone texting

– Universities and colleges

– Large number of bars

– Large per capita consumption of beer

Construction of clinical facilities in these areas should begin immediately, along with cemetery monitoring services. Zombie Response Vehicles, combining the characteristics of armed personnel carriers and ambulances, can be fabricated by coachmakers across the country, including the hard-hit RV makers of Elkhart, Indiana.

While medical laboratories should certainly begin the long process of discovering a cure for Zombie-ism, results cannot be expected in time for the October 2010 Zombie season. Presently, there is only one practical cure for Zombies: blowing their heads off with shotgun pellets.

Zombie control stations should begin stockpiling nontoxic shotgun ammunition immediately following the impending Atlantic Flyway waterfowl harvest. Authorities should begin stockpiling automatic shotguns in areas of known Undead infestation, and should solicit Zombie-specific automatic shotgun designs from U.S. manufacturers to combat future outbreaks. Zombie response teams must begin training by next June, at the latest. Recruiting should begin by April.

While there are reports of Zombie control using flamethrowers, these weapons are difficult to control, hard on surrounding real estate and bystanders, and cannot be recommended. Note: do not attempt to convert gas barbecues or turkey deep-fryers for anti-Zombie use. Leave these devices to professionals.

Finally, no control effort is complete without Zombie remains collection, incineration, and disposal. This must be done in accordance with environmental codes. In keeping with “Green Economy” efforts, combustion of Zombie remains could generate electricity for the recovery of hard-hit Undead-infested communities.

The time for action is now. Call and write your elected officials before it’s too late. Destroy Zombies and 

resurrect our nation’s economy.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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It’s NaBloPoMo – National Blog Posting Month.

“Post every day for a month. That’s all you have to do.”

Read about it here.

Image (“Two Bloggers, after Norman Rockwell”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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What’s in a name? Financial ruin.

USDA and pork producers insist that the current virus outbreak should be called “H1N1,” but the media persist in calling  it “Swine Flu.” Whatever you call it, the virus is not a food-borne illness, but confusion has reduced consumer demand for pork. This comes on top of a huge jump in feed prices, and farmers are losing $23 on each hog. The U.S. pork industry has lost more that $5 billion in the past two years.

“Experts: Swine flu exacerbates pork industry woes,” Fresno Bee

“Editorial: Name that flu — but keep pigs out of it,” Austin [Minnesota] Post-Bulletin

“Flu virus’ name also has its dangers,” Roanoke Times

“Moran corrects broadcasters on flu name,” Wichita Eagle

“H1N1 or swine? Flu name game takes toll on hog industry,” Green Bay Press-Gazette

“Porkers: Don’t Call It Swine Flu,” Spokane Spokesman-Review blog

“Swine Flu Stigma Affecting Pork Sales,” WYTV News

There may be light at the end of the pigsty:

“U.S. Hog-Farming Losses May Have Peaked, Paragon Economics Says,” Bloomberg News

“China to lift swine flu-inspired ban on U.S. pork,” Kansas City Star

For a seasonal growth industry, though, look elsewhere:

“Flu fears help Clorox sales,” CBC News

“Clorox Profit Rises as Consumers Seek Flu Protection,” Bloomberg News

Disclaimer:This blog post is not intended to substitute for the advice of qualified physicians, custom butchers, commodities brokers, pharmacists, charcuitiers, health-care practitioners, and culinary professionals. Contact your health care provider if you suspect you have a medical problem.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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The Day of the Dead (El Día de los Muertos) or All Souls Day is November 1st this year, a Sunday. Here in Washington, DC the Mexican Cultural Institute (Instituto de México, 2829 16th Street, NW) commemorates the occasion with a traditional Altar de Muertos, as designed by Mexican paper artist Humberto Spíndola.

The day is celebrated and appreciated throughout the blogosphere. Start with Ladislao Loera, Mary Andrade, Carlos Miller and the staff of the Arizona Republic, or Jo Tuckman of The Guardian.

 UPDATE: 

Nice feature on the holiday in Paris, from NPR’s Elinor Beardsley.

Holiday news and photos from the Phillipines, Poland, New Orleans, and Belgium. 

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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