Archive for the ‘Republicans’ Category

Sarah Palin Launches TV Network

July 28, 2014

Sarah Palin Launches TV Network

Sarah Palin, former Miss Wasilla, once part-time Temp-Governor of Alaska, losing GOP Vice Presidential candidate and failed Fox News commentator, is launching her own on-line TV network, the Sarah Palin Channel. Run on free-market principles, it’ll cost you $9.95 a month or $99.95 a year. A comment on Gawker suggests you go monthly, since Palin will probably quit after 6 months, like she did as Governor of Alaska.

More:

“Sarah Palin Launches Her Own Channel Online,” Todd Spangler, Variety

“Sarah Palin begins her own online channel,” Catalina Camia, USA Today

“Sarah Palin Launches Subscription-Based Online Video Channel,” Andrew Kirell, Mediaite

“Millions Pay for Rare Opportunity to Hear Sarah Palin Speak,” Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

(more…)

Bachmann Eyes 2016 Presidential Run

July 25, 2014

Bachmann Eyes 2016 Presidential Run

Congress-creature Michele Bachmann, the “Crazy Eyes” Republican currently representing the 6th District of Minnesota, the Planet Mars, the Tea Party Caucus, and the voice of the Lord, is considering another run for the presidency of the United States. God Bless America.

 More:

 “Michele Bachmann: ‘There’s a chance I could run’ for President in 2016,” Terence Cullen, New York Daily News

“Michele Bachmann on running for president: ‘There’s a chance,'” Scott Conroy, RCP via CBS News

“What’s behind Michele Bachmann’s 2016 tease,” Abby Ohlheiser, Washington Post

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Ted Cruz: Canadian, Eh? No More.

June 17, 2014

Ted Cruz: Canadian, Eh? No More.

The father of Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX), rabid evangelical preacher Elmer Gantry Rafael Cruz, has been questioning the U.S. birth status of Barack Obama. Then the Dallas Morning News discovered that Senator Cruz was born in Alberta, Canada and officially had Canadian as well as U.S. citizenship.

Awkward.

Senator Cruz finally renounced his Canadian citizenship so he’s 110%-by-God-American but it sure took a long time for the Harvard-Law-educated Cruz to get those legal papers inked.

So can Ted Cruz legally be U.S. President? His Mom is a Yank, so yeah. But that won’t stop the questions. Or the jokes.

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Red-Meat Republicans

June 13, 2014

Red-Meat Republicans

In the 2014 Republican primary, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor’s campaign and PAC spent nearly $170,000 at DC power steakhouses, chiefly Bobby Van’s and BLT Steak. His victorious opponent Dave Brat’s entire campaign cost $122,000.

“”It’s rare that you would see a fundraiser at a Ruby Tuesday or a Chipotle,’ said Lisa Spies, a veteran GOP fundraiser …. ‘You’ve got to spend money to raise money.’

In the 2014 cycle, all federal candidates have spent just over $9,000 on Chipotle, and $1,229 at Ruby Tuesday, according to numbers compiled by CQ Moneyline. In the same span, they have spent more than $400,000 at Bobby Van’s.”

–  “Why Eric Cantor chose Bobby Van’s,” Eric Tau, Politico

It works. Cantor’s campaign raked in $5.5 million and his PAC took in $3.5 million more while Brat raised $206,663.

But the median annual household income in Virginia’s 7th District is $64,751, the value of the average family home is $188,400, and it’s a pretty long drive to Bobby Van’s.

Related:

“Elites Beware: Eric Cantor’s Defeat May Signal a Populist Revolution,” Ron Fournier, National Journal

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Eric Cantor Ousted

June 11, 2014

Eric Cantor Ousted

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R, VA-7), a 13-year congressional veteran, was defeated by Tea Party loon David Brat in the June 10th Republican Primary. Mr. Cantor is the first sitting House majority leader to lose a primary election since the position was created in 1899.

David Brat is a professor at Randolph-Macon College with degrees in economics and divinity, Director of the BB&T Moral Foundations of Capitalism Program and, as a complete political unknown, was the perfect vehicle for the anti-incumbent vote. He also benefited from the strong xenophobic sentiment of Virginia’s Republican party. Henry Blodget summarizes Mr. Brat’s platform: “No government, no immigration, no tax, no schools, fusion of church/state….”

Dave Brat will face fellow Randolph-Macon professor Jack Trammell in November’s general election.

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Forget Ukraine, Now Newt is Really Shook Up

May 9, 2014

Forget Ukraine, Now Newt is Really Shook Up

If you think disgraced former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich was upset over Russia threatening Ukraine, just wait. Vladimir Putin is about to crush the failed Republican presidential hopeful’s other dream. Russia plans to colonize the Moon, ending Newt’s lifetime quest to become lunar colony governor.

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Millionaires Vote Down $10.10 Minimum Wage

May 1, 2014

Millionaires Vote Down $10.10 Minimum Wage

“A broad-based coalition of millionaires converged on Washington today to defeat a bill that would have increased the minimum wage for American workers to $10.10 an hour.

Leaving behind their mansions and yachts, the millionaires were motivated by what they saw as an existential threat to the country, Mitch McConnell, a spokesman for the millionaires, said.

‘This was an extremely diverse coalition,’ McConnell said, noting that everyone from the rich to the very rich to the super-rich united to vote down the bill.”

– “Millionaires Unite to Defeat Minimum Wage,” Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

More:

“GOP Blocks Minimum-Wage Bill in Senate,” Caitlin Huey-Burns and Alexis Simendinger, RealClearPolitics

Related:

“Which Millionaire Are You Voting For?” Nicholas Carnes, New York Times

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Rick Santorum, GOP Martyr

March 9, 2014

Rick Santorum, GOP Martyr

Evangelical Christian billionaire Foster Friess introduced Rick Santorum to the CPAC congregation as the most persecuted Tea Party Saint in the room. Mr. Santorum, former Republican senator, failed presidential candidate, and erstwhile Pope of Pennsylvania, didn’t follow that with a Sermon on the Mount. He sounded more like Jeremiah, excoriating the assembled for espousing heathen beliefs like “tolerance,” “inclusion,” “birth control,” and “helping the middle class” in futile attempts to get elected.

Mr. Santorum urged the conservative congregation to chase the moneylenders from the GOP Temple with scourge and torch. Presumably Foster Priess bought a Pennsylvania Papal Indulgence with the millions he spent on Rick Santorum’s failed 2012 presidential campaign. Rick Santorum has not ruled out another Crusade for Christian Theocracy in 2016.

More:

“The Pope of Pennsylvania,” Marie Burns, NY Times Examiner

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Paul Ryan, School Lunch Expert

March 7, 2014

Paul Ryan, School Lunch Expert

Yesterday at the Conservative Political Action Conference, Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan (R, WI-1) addressed the faithful and told them of his new platform. He wants to steal school lunches from poor kids.

Mr. Ryan told a story he says he got from Eloise Anderson, but the story was stolen, too.

“She once met a young boy from a poor family. And every day at school, he would get a free lunch from a government program. But he told Eloise he didn’t want a free lunch. He wanted his own lunch—one in a brown-paper bag just like the other kids’. He wanted one, he said, because he knew a kid with a brown-paper bag had someone who cared for him.”

“The left is making a big mistake …. What they’re offering people is a full stomach and an empty soul. People don’t just want a life of comfort. They want a life of dignity, they want a life of self determination.”

Mr. Ryan’s policy is neatly summed up by Paul Krugman: “Let Them Eat Dignity.” Oh, and the book the story was swiped from? A portion of sales goes to a campaign that “connects kids in need to effective nutrition programs like school breakfast and summer meals” and opposes Ryan’s cuts to food stamps.

Mr. Ryan knows nothing about lunches for the poor, but he’s an authority on a poor lunch. Nutrition-poor, anyway. According to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: “One of his summer jobs in college was as an Oscar Mayer salesman in Minnesota, peddling turkey bacon and a new line called ‘Lunchables‘ to supermarkets.” He once drove the Wienermobile for Oscar Meyer, and that was his last honest job. He’s peddled his bologna as a DC political hack ever since.

More:

“Paul Ryan accidentally makes the case against means-testing,” Ned Resnikoff, MSNBC

“Paul Ryan’s Soul Food,” Ed Kilgore, Political Animal

“A story too good to check: Paul Ryan and the story of the brown paper bag,” Glenn Kessler, Washington Post Fact Checker

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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McDonnell Snake Oil Scandal

January 23, 2014

McDonnell Snake Oil Scandal

Maw & Paw McDonnell, former First Couple of the Old Dominion, have been indicted by a Federal grand jury of taking cash, luxury gifts and expensive vacations from a snake oil salesman while in office then lying about it, committing wire fraud, and obstructing the investigation into it. 12 of the 14 counts are punishable by up to 20 years and 2 for 30 years in prison, and there are fines of up to $1 million.

Mr. McDonnell has distinguished himself from other Virginia governors — Thomas Jefferson, Patrick Henry, James Monroe — as the first in history to be indicted for his actions during his term in office. Of course he had help. Whist residing in Richmond’s historic Executive Mansion, Mrs. McDonnell actively endorsed and hawked the useless quack patent nostrums.

Arraignment in U.S. District Court in Richmond is scheduled for Friday. But whatever the legal outcome, the real scandal is that decent, affordable medical care is denied to many Virginians and other Americans but it’s perfectly legal to sell them worthless pseudo “healthcare” crap as long you call it a (wink-wink) “nutritional supplement.”

(more…)


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