Archive for the ‘Michael Chertoff’ Category
November 17, 2010

Airports have installed Full Body Scanners (FBSs) to keep exploding underwear from interfering with flight schedules. Number of air crash fatalities caused by exploding underwear: 0. Number of air crash fatalities caused by alligators and crocodiles: 23 (20 in the Congo and three in Florida). Sounds like TSA needs to hire Crocodile Dundee.
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Tags:air travel, airport security, body scanners, Chertoff, DHS, full body scanners, seurity theater, terrorism, TSA
Posted in air travel, DHS, Homeland Security, Michael Chertoff, terrorism | 1 Comment »
January 5, 2010

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is considering mandatory use of full-body scanners for examination of passengers boarding at all airports. Here’s one reason: TSA is a wholly owned subsidiary of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS), and Michael Chertoff, former DHS director, is a shill for a body-scanner manufacturer.
While use of airport body scanners may not actually prevent acts of terrorism, purchasing them is sound public policy. When airports discard the useless machines, they can be re-sold to hospitals and clinics at a discount, which will dramatically reduce the cost of medical imaging.
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Tags:air travel, airports, Chertoff, full body scanners, satire, terrorism, TSA
Posted in air travel, DHS, ethics, fear mongers, Homeland Security, humor, Michael Chertoff, privacy, satire, terrorism | 8 Comments »
April 5, 2008

In a stunning move to circumvent environmental regulations and funding challenges, the Bush Administration has commissioned artist Christo Javacheff to complete construction of the controversial 470-mile fence along the Mexican border. Funds for the gargantuan project will be administered through the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA).
NEA Chairman Dana Gioia announced the $50 billion grant, largest in the Endowment’s history, as part of the new “Art in Alien Places” program on April 1. The grant will be matched by a similar amount to be raised through cocktail parties co-hosted by the artist’s wife Jeanne-Claude and First Lady Laura Bush. Earlier plans to use completed fence segments for the Donald Rumsfeld Celebrity Squash Tournament were vetoed by the artist.
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Posted in art, arts policy, celebrities, Homeland Security, humor, immigration, Laura Bush, Michael Chertoff, news, public art, Republicans, satire, Texas | 4 Comments »
February 16, 2008

“Secretary Chertoff: Can you hear me now?”
The House of Representatives astounded itself yesterday by actually considering existing U.S. laws before legislating new ones.
In contrast to an inattentive (or gutless) Senate and an obfuscating President, the People’s House refused to reauthorize a hastily-passed post-9/11 law that undermines the existing Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) court process for obtaining expedited legal wiretaps for national security cases.
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Posted in 9/11, Congress, Courts, Crime, economics, George W. Bush, government, Homeland Security, Michael Chertoff, news, September 11 | 1 Comment »