Archive for the ‘men’ Category

Turkey Carving Tips for Real Guys

November 22, 2011

Turkey Carving Tips for Real Guys
Oh no! Despite reading Turkey Torching Tips for Guys you have a great big, fully cooked, deep-fried Thanksgiving turkey on your hands. You examine it minutely and discover there’s no little red zip tab to open so you can take out slices. What now?

That’s some big old avian cadaver you got there, buddy. There’s only one manly way to divvy it up. That’s right: chainsaw.

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Turkey Torching Tips for Guys

November 21, 2011

Turkey Torching Tips for Guys
The National Fire Protection Association claims “turkey fryers that use oil, as currently designed, are not suitable for acceptably safe use by even a well-informed and careful consumer.” Wimps! Thursday is Thanksgiving, when we give thanks for college football and a four-day weekend. That’s when Real American Men generate Code Orange air quality by incinerating poultry on the patio.

Any pantywaist can cook on those SUV-sized natural gas, propane, electric, or gelignite-powered barbecue grills with all those fancy features (good subwoofers can help spread sauce evenly, though). Nah, let’s get ready to deep-fry some turkey. Here’s how:

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Mr. Weiner Hangs It Up

June 19, 2011

Mr. Weiner Hangs It Up

Rep. Anthony D. Weiner (D-NY 9) resigned from Congress. He didn’t tweet about it, but the media noticed.

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What Men Think About

April 12, 2011

What Men Think About

Shed Simove has published a book called What Every Man Thinks About Apart From Sex. Each of the book’s 200 pages is completely blank.

The book is a worldwide best-seller.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Turkey Carving Tips for Real Guys

November 23, 2010

Turkey Carving Tips for Real Guys

Oh no! Despite reading Turkey Torching Tips for Guys you have a great big, fully cooked, deep-fried Thanksgiving turkey on your hands. You examine it minutely and discover there’s no little red zip tab to open so you can take out slices. What now?

That’s some big old avian cadaver you got there, buddy. There’s only one manly way to divvy it up. That’s right: chainsaw.

  (more…)

Turkey Torching Tips for Guys

November 22, 2010

 Turkey Torching Tips for Guys

The National Fire Protection Association claims “turkey fryers that use oil, as currently designed, are not suitable for acceptably safe use by even a well-informed and careful consumer.” Wimps! Thursday is Thanksgiving, when we give thanks for college football and a four-day weekend. That’s when Real American Men generate Code Orange air quality by incinerating poultry on the patio.

Any pantywaist can cook on those SUV-sized natural gas, propane, electric, or gelignite-powered barbecue grills with all those fancy features (good subwoofers do help spread sauce evenly, though). Nah, let’s get ready to deep-fry some turkey. Here’s how:

1. Put Fire Department on Speed-Dial. Keep your cell phone in your welding apron pocket. It is unwise to enter a flaming residence to use the telephone.

2. Purchase more equipment. You can never have enough Real Guy outdoor cooking gear. Buy some new stuff at Home Depot first. Don’t bother with those electronic gizmos at Leading Edge; you can never read the LCD screens outdoors anyway. Williams-Sonoma? Isn’t that the California wine the wife likes?

3. Don’t forget the turkey. Make sure it is big enough to bother with. Double-check to make sure you are not buying a goat or lamb.

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Labor Day: REAL Men Grill Meat

September 6, 2010

Labor Day: REAL Men Grill Meat

This is Labor Day, ceremonial Last Day of Summer in the USA. On this three-day weekend, adult American men are obliged to offer up sacrifices to their gods, incinerating animal flesh outdoors near their homes. Families and neighbors consume the charred remains, washing them down with libations of fermented grain or carbonated sugar-water.

This custom is said to bridge cultural differences and promote family and community cohesion, but the ceremony has a grave, unstated purpose. If American men do not burn meat for them on Labor Day, the angry gods will not end summer, preventing the start of the new football season.

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Food Fight

June 1, 2010

Food Fight

In the beginning was the pea shooter. Boy-men of the late Neolithic placed dried peas in hollow reeds and propelled them by breath at wild beasts — each other. Curious kids may have tried large-bore chickpea models, but the weapon remained virtually unchanged until the Twentieth Century, when bored schoolboys constructed long-range, accurate, non-pneumatic peashooters from mechanical pencils or Bic pens and elastic bands. The Alimentary Arms Race had begun.

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The Proper Study of Mankind

May 11, 2010

 The Proper Study of Mankind

“The proper study of Mankind is Man,” claims the poet, but academic opinions differ on just how to go about it. Male Studies or Men’s Studies?

The Men’s Studies movement grew out of (or along with) the National Organization for Men Against Sexism. NOMAS is “pro-feminist, gay affirmative, anti-racist, dedicated to enhancing men’s lives.”  

Too touchy-feely for you, bubba? If you study men and boyz without constant references to gals or “Gender Studies,” that’s Male Studiies. Now on Facebook.

More:

“Male Studies vs. Men’s Studies,” Jennifer Epstein, InsideHigherEd.com

 

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

What Men Want

May 2, 2010

What Men Want

Louann Brizendine, MD is author of The Male Brain, which “demystifies the puzzling male brain.” So does our illustration (above).

Dr. Brizendine, a psychiatrist and clinical professor of psychiatry at UCSF, was recently interviewed on CNN. Excerpt:

Perhaps the biggest difference between the male and female brain is that men have a sexual pursuit area that is 2.5 times larger than the one in the female brain.

The rest is commentary. She notes that it is biochemistry, not bad manners, that causes men to stare at women’s breasts, but does not mention Boobquake.

Dr. Brizendine is on Twitter. Ladies: to avoid irreversible damage to the male brain, please do not tweet from bed until the guy gets up to use the bathroom.

 

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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