Archive for the ‘DHS’ Category

Crimebusters! DHS Science and Technology Directorate

October 10, 2012

Crimebusters! U.S. Science and Technology Directorate

James Bond has Q Branch, but the U.S. Department of Homeland Security has S&T, the Science and Technology Directorate. Of course, there’s more to this tech alphabet, R&D and HSSAI:

“… S&T maintains a team of futurists in Arlington, Va., at the Homeland Security Studies & Analysis Institute (HSSAI). There, in the Resilience and Emergency Preparedness / Response Branch, analysts explore the art of the possible, helping DHS shape dreams into a lucid, viable vision. ‘Revolutionary ways of working are often invented because visionaries saw a need and a novel way to meet it,’ said Deputy Director Bob Tuohy, who is an admitted sci-fi enthusiast.”


“At Homeland Security’s think tank, first responders imagine a high-tech future,” Press Release


Short Link:

Image (“Crimebuster Foiled, after Chester Gould”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht,

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Walls of Washington

January 14, 2011

Walls of Washington

“Security concerns have transformed Washington, taking a city envisioned as the physical embodiment of the openness of American democracy and turning it into a garrison town that is increasingly inaccessible to the general public.”


Body Scanner Reality Check

November 17, 2010

Body Scanner Reality Check

Airports have installed Full Body Scanners (FBSs) to keep exploding underwear from interfering with flight schedules. Number of air crash fatalities caused by exploding underwear: 0. Number of air crash fatalities caused by alligators and crocodiles: 23 (20 in the Congo and three in Florida).  Sounds like TSA needs to hire Crocodile Dundee.


Full-Body Scanners: Old Technology

January 5, 2010

Full-Body Scanners: Old Technology

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) is considering mandatory use of full-body scanners for examination of passengers boarding at all airports. Here’s one reason: TSA is a wholly owned subsidiary of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS), and Michael Chertoff, former DHS director, is a shill for a body-scanner manufacturer.

While use of airport body scanners may not actually prevent acts of terrorism, purchasing them is sound public policy. When airports discard the useless machines, they can be re-sold to hospitals and clinics at a discount, which will dramatically reduce the cost of medical imaging.


Flying Home

December 30, 2009

Flying Home

If you are flying home after the holidays, please be aware that more stringent airport security measures are now in effect.

Details here, here, here, and here.

 UPDATE:Underpants of Mass Destruction.”

Hat tip: Erika Niedowski, Washington City Paper.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht,

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Illegal Alien Caught in Anti-Terrorism Sweep

December 20, 2009

Not only can terrorists access real-time video feeds from U.S. reconnaissance drones, they can violate American airspace at will and invade our homes.

Thank goodness we have some hold-over Bush and Cheney appointees on our Amerikanische Heimat Sicherheit Abteilung anti-terrorism task force.

Hat tip: Ministry of Gossip.

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive (“Ho-ho-ho” does not qualify), concise, and not obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

Terrorists Strike U.S. Infrastructure

October 24, 2009

Terrorists Strike U.S. Infrastructure

Despite billions spent on homeland security, the Obama Administration is Bush-league when it comes to defending America’s vital power grid from home-grown terrorists. Known to experts as Sciurus carolinensis, these sly, suicidal saboteurs infiltrate transformer stations at will, denying thousands of loyal Americans their God-given right to power up their Chinese-made flat-screen TVs.

October 24, 2009, Fulton, MO: “”Squirrel causes power failure in Fulton on Saturday,” Fulton Sun. 

October 19, 2009, Ogdensburg, NY: “Squirrel causes 8-hour outage,” Watertown Daily Times.

October 10, 2009, Chico CA: “Squirrel causes power outage,” Chico Enterprise-Record.

October 7, 2009, Anderson IN: “Squirrel blamed for power outage to southwest Anderson,”  The Herald Bulletin.

October 7, 2009, Fredericksburg VA: “Squirrel Sparks Power Outage,” University of Mary Washington Bullet.

October 2, 2009, Glendale, CA: “Squirrel causes power outage,” Glendale News Press

September 30, 2009, Pekin, IL:  “Squirrel causes power outage,” Pekin Daily Times.


Tom Ridge on the Bush Terrorism Alert Code

August 23, 2009

Tom Ridge on the Bush Terrorism Alert Code

Tom Ridge, first Secretary of Homeland Security, says the G.W. Bush administration pressured him to raise the public terrorism Threat Level before the 2004 elections and for other politically-motivated reasons, when objective measures indicated no increased threats. He refused. His book detailing the charges comes out soon.


Celebrate Inaugural Security!

January 25, 2009

Celebrate Inaugural Security!

This year’s National Bollard Festival® will salute the brave men, women, and sniffer dogs who protected two million people during the Presidential Inaugural festivities, say producers of the Washington, DC event.

Crowds will gather on the chilly National Mall and give a standing ovation to members of the U.S. Capitol Police, Secret Service, Federal Protective Service, National Park Police, FBI, DC Metropolitan Police Department, Senate Sergeant-at-Arms and dozens of security corporations with federal contracts. The exact date and time of the event is being withheld for security reasons.

The Purple Ticket Mass Choir will give an a cappella doo-wop concert in a tunnel under the Capitol grounds. “It’s standing room only,” said a U.S. Capitol Police officer, “but there’s a great echo.” The rest of the program is available on a need-to-know basis.


Terrorists Struck USA Despite Bush Claim

January 23, 2009

Terrorists Struck USA Depite Bush Claim

Before his exile to the barren wastelands of the Texas wilderness, disgraced ex-President George W. Bush told one last lie:

“There can be little debate about the results. America has gone more than seven years without another terrorist attack on our soil.”

Hah! Billions spent by the Amerikanische Heimat Sicherheit Abteilung but terrorists still stage blazing attacks in the United States with impunity! We warned you before, but you didn’t listen. Now MeanLouise reports more Bush-era outrages:



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