Archive for the ‘cuisine’ Category

The Macaroons of Moses

April 14, 2014

The Macaroons of Moses

Tonight many Jewish families hold the Seder, the ritual meal celebrating the holiday of Passover. Many Americans are unfamiliar with the customs of this dinner, such as recounting the Exodus story as told in the ancient Maxwell House Haggadah and the obligation to drink four glasses of wine (oh, the sacrifices …).

One seasonal custom puzzling to Gentiles is the appearance of canned Kosher cookies in American supermarkets. Many Jews are puzzled as well, since the cookies are macaroons made with coconut, chocolate, and other ingredients not prominent in the Old Testament.

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Groundhog Day

February 2, 2014

Groundhog Day
It’s February 2nd, time to monitor Marmota monax and dream of winter’s end. Whether or not you believe in woodchuck weathermen, one thing is certain: you can’t have groundhogs if you want a backyard full of fresh garden veggies.

Groundhogs (aka woodchucks, whistlepigs, and marmots) are insecto-vegetarians and confirmed locavores. If you plan to plant this spring, harvest those hairy beasts now. Celebrate Groundhog Day with critter cuisine.

Serving suggestions:

Woodchuck au Vin

Canadian Fried Woodchuck

Groundhog Pie

Woodchuck Recipes from Michigan (Oriental Groundhog,Waco Groundhog in Sour Cream,Woodchuck Stew, Woodchuck Meat Loaf)

More groundhog lore and recipes here and here.

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Turkey Carving Tips for Real Guys

November 26, 2013

Turkey Carving Tips for Real Guys
Oh no! Despite reading Turkey Torching Tips for Guys you have a great big, fully cooked, deep-fried Thanksgiving turkey on your hands. You examine it minutely and discover there’s no little red zip tab to open so you can take out slices. What now?

That’s some big old avian cadaver you got there, buddy. There’s only one manly way to divvy it up. That’s right: chainsaw.

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Turkey Torching Tips for Guys

November 22, 2013

Turkey Torching Tips for Guys

The National Fire Protection Association claims “turkey fryers that use oil, as currently designed, are not suitable for acceptably safe use by even a well-informed and careful consumer.” Wimps! Next Thursday is Thanksgiving, when we give thanks for college football and a four-day weekend. That’s when Real American Men generate Code Orange air quality by incinerating poultry on the patio. Yeah, buddy!

Any pantywaist can cook on those SUV-sized natural gas, propane, electric, or gelignite-powered barbecue grills with all those fancy features (good subwoofers can help spread sauce evenly, though). Nah, let’s get ready to deep-fry us some turkey. Here’s how:

1. Put Fire Department on Speed-Dial. Keep your cell phone in your welding apron pocket. It is unwise to enter a flaming residence to use the telephone.

2. Purchase more equipment. You can never have enough Real Guy outdoor cooking gear. Buy some new stuff at Home Depot first. Forget about those electronic gizmos from Leading Edge, you can never read their LCD screens outdoors anyway. Williams-Sonoma? Isn’t that the California wine the wife likes?

3. Don’t forget the turkey. It should be big enough to bother messing with. Double-check to make sure you are not buying a goat or lamb.

4. Check interior compartment of poultry (note: light does not go on automatically; use your Maglite). Any paper-wrapped parcels inside will not contain Surprise Creme Filling. Remove; give to wife or cat. If the bird is frozen, use your Benz-0-Matic torch judiciously or the meat will be dry. At this point you may marinate the turkey in any fluid mixture as long as it contains beer.

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McRib Confidential

November 18, 2013

McRib Confidential
Warning: The McRib is back It’s a seasonal plague, like the flu. Public health officials have produced an online map so you can avoid the worst infestations.

Often mistaken for an innocent sandwich, the McR is composed of “Restructured Meat” made from pulverized and re-glued pig innards, ammonium sulfate, polysorbate 80, sodium benzoate, thiamin mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid partially hydrogenated soybean and/or cottonseed oils, calcium sulfate, ammonium sulfate, soy flour, sodium stearoyl lactylate, ascorbic acid, mono- and diglycerides, ethoxylated mono- and diglycerides, monocalcium phosphate, calcium peroxide, calcium propionate,high fructose corn syrup, xanthan gum, and sodium benzoate. And let’s not forget azodicarbonamide, used to make yoga mats.

Want to see what it looks like before it’s covered in sauce? Sure? Okay then, look here.

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White House Soup

August 26, 2013

White House Soup

The White House Soup of the Day for August 26, 2013 via MSNBC and FishbowlDC:

Ribollita.

(“a hearty potage made with bread and vegetables.”)

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Short Link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-gwP

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Big Burgers

July 27, 2013

Big Burgers

Americans love big burgers. We’re talking BIG burgers here, not your puny Quarter-Pounders™. Would you like the 2-pound Hercules Burger. 2-pound, 4-ounce T-Rex Burger, 3-pound 911 Burger, 7-pound Zeus Burger, 25-pound Beer Barrel Burgenator, 134-pound Absolutely Ridiculous Burger, 19,490- calorie 100 X 100 – In-n-Out Burger, or 2014 pound Black Bear Casino Burger?

Would you like a bale of fries with that?

More:

“7 Very Big Burgers,” Roma Panganiban, Mental Floss

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-h5t

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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‘McDonald’s 34,492 restaurants: where are they?’

July 25, 2013

McDonald's 34,492 restaurants: where are they?

A new restaurant in Vietnam means that McDonald’s will be serving up food in 116 countries around the world next year. See where they all are and find out how many restaurants there are per person in those countries.”

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The Pizza Belt

July 13, 2013

The Pizza Belt

  • “The Pizza Belt is defined as ‘the area of the United States where the chance of obtaining an adequate-to-good slice of pizza from a randomly chosen pizzeria is greater than 50 percent.’
  • Taken at its strictest, The True Pizza Belt runs, more or less contiguously, hugging the coast, from southern New Jersey to Providence, R.I. ….
  • Lowering the chances to one in three, or slightly expanding our definition of ‘adequate,’ gives us The Greater Pizza Belt Area, a zone spanning Washington D.C., to Boston, Mass., going no further inland than Albany, N.Y. “
  • “Beyond the Greater Pizza Belt Area is a wasteland. “

– “The Pizza Belt: the Most Important Pizza Theory You’ll Read,” Max Read, Gawker

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-h1K

Image  [does not necessarily constitute an endorsement of Fat Sal's pizza] by Mike Licht. Download a copy here.  Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length

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White House Soup

April 17, 2013

White House Soup

The White House Soup of the Day for April 17, 2013 via MSNBC and FishbowlDC:

Miso.

___________________

Short Link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-gwP

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length

Add to: Facebook | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumbleupon | Reddit | Blinklist | Twitter | Technorati | Yahoo Buzz | Newsvine


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