Olympic Tourism 2008

The Olympics® are less than a year away. Drawn by the thought of superbly-fit, sweaty, scantily-clad young people competing for honor and glory, multinational hordes of regular slobs will line up for hours to sit on hard stadium seats and watch the same contests over and over and over again as competitors are eliminated.

Then spectators will rise early the next morning to line up for hours and hours to sit on hard stadium seats and watch the same contests over and over and over again as competitors are eliminated. For two weeks. What could be more exciting than that? 

The Olympic® events are so compelling that sports fans may forget they are in China, a huge, ancient, exotic land with a seemingly inexhaustible supply of lead paint. Most visitors will certainly want to see the Great Wall, Forbidden City, and WalMart, but there is so much more: 

The River of Metal in Tieling, in the north-eastern province of Liaoning. At least 32 factory workers died after being showered with molten steel here. The government commemorated this awesome event by building a huge metal factory on the site. Oh wait, it was there already. Anyway, if you can’t visit all the factories and mines where 127,000 Chinese workers die each year, see this one.

Peking Parking Pursuit: Cities need 130 parking spots per 100 cars. Beijing has 73 per 100 for its 3.5 million vehicles and the Olympics will add even more cars. Let the games begin!

 

 

 

The Great Desert of North China, formerly known as the North China Plain. Seeking self-sufficiency in grain, China raised support prices above the world market level and depleted underground water sources. The area’s aquifer feeds China’s rivers, so their water levels have dropped, and most Chinese cities, industries, and farms depend on river water.

 

 

 

The Yellow River Reddish-Brown Foaming River. Wanchuan Creek, a tributary of the Formerly-Yellow River, where untreated papermill waste adds distinctive color to this vital water source, has become a magnet for photographers. Go to Lanzhou, capital city of Gansu Province, and follow your nose – the odor is distinctive.

 

 

 

The Shanghai Scooter Slalom: ‘Nuff said.

 

Beijing Gentrification Grudge Match: Beijing and big-city planners want to spiff up the big temples and palaces for the foreign Olympics® tourists, but had to be bludgeoned into preserving centuries-old winding alleys and vernacular siheyuan courtyard houses. Boy are their faces red! Courtyard houses now sell for big bucks to foreign devils and home-grown hipsters. “This Old Siheyuan” and “Flip That Siheyuan” should be on Chinese TV any day now. 

More Olympic Travel Tips in future posts.  

Image by Mike Licht; not to be confused with registered trademarks or copyrighted images, even those originating in places that don’t believe in copyrights and trademarks. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com